Essentially - it seems hard for people to forgive and to apologize. More sometime soon on forgiveness but for now... notes, musings on apologies...
Why are they hard to do? Why can some people not get the words out of their mouths. And why do some people say "I'm sorry" all the time?
I am one who says it a lot. I then do the same things again, and again, and again. Therefore some would say my apologies are worthless. This will be considered later, too.
For now - let us consider what happens when a person does apologize. When a person apologizes s/he says s/he is sorry for something (thus recognizing some thing/action) and the implication is that they "thing" will not be done again and that forgiveness is requested. THEN - forgiveness is something that MUST BE GIVEN. That is the deal. The general rule is that a true apology earns/deserves forgiveness. AND SO - if two parties are in agreement on this general rule AND communities do well to have such a rule and members who agree to it and live it... THEN -- it is difficult for someone to apologize because they will be forgiven AND THEY WILL HAVE TO FORGIVE IN RETURN. Therefore it is FORGIVENESS that is the problem because truly and simply we know that it is hard to forgive. Forgiving and it being difficult to forgive is basically axiomatic!
(At least in general and in some cases (such as in Jewish traditions) an apology should be accepted and forgiveness is thus implied and/or given. (In the Jewish tradition if a person apologizes and the apology not accepted and if the apology given a 2nd time and not accepted and then a third time... after the third time the onus is on the person to whom the apology has been offered and the community may in fact get into the issue and demand forgiveness be given... --quote necessary... here). )
So we avoid, echue, find it impossible to apologize because we know we cannot/willnot forgive and therefore learning to forgive is the primary lesson. We must master the art, science, law, religion of forgiveness. OY!
