Monday, April 13, 2026

2026 Daily - 04/12/2026 - a Passover thought?

 It is late sunday morning... I did some errands (got water and eggs and cheese and pickles), donated some stuff, had breakfast, watched end of 1492, and NOW -- going to workout.... I think, hope.

IDEAS of the day.... none at this time...

========================after workout===============

About Passover --- the Jews who experienced it at the time.... they did not, I think, have a Haggadah or even a need or command to tell the story! Fear and Feasting was the thing at that time. Today we need to remember what happen so we tell the story and ask questions and sing AND EAT.... Perhaps one of the two Seders can be only FEASTING?!!!! That would mean adding an additional day of observance in Israel and changing how we do things outside The Land...

AND BTW -- ordered a bunch of anchovies from Amazon...

Saturday, April 11, 2026

2026 Daily - 04/11/2026 - norms and anti-semitism!!! and diverse worship!!! ALTERNATIVES????

 Today is Saturday... Shabbat... I did not go to services - in person or online. Online has failed me too much recently and my face hurts and looks wierd because of blue light treatment.

Watched a movie this morning... odd, depressing, maybe hopeful? - 2036 Origin Unknown.... sci fi ... on prime.

Now, this afternoon... maybe I'll get up and cleanup junk room... a bit..

It is not so great weather... cloudy, rainy... windy... cool... Might light a fire in fireplace..!!!

=============================

Anti-semitism and/or anti-Judaism has been a serious problem for over two thousand years!!!! We who are Jewish either have been hated for our religion or our poeplehood... for our poverty or our wealth... for our power or our impotence... CLEARLY we have never been able to win the war on reality. We are regular folks living in a variety of ways and places with differing means yetSIMP no matter what - we get oppressed, hated, blamed... And we DEFEND ourselves about all this... without, generally, taking the OFFENSIVE. Today, 2026. is a year following out of the Oct. 7th, 2023 event, when we are On The Offensive... and maybe --- this is the ticket!!!! And maybe we should really go all the way! Be a nation of priests.. to all. Be a light unto the nations. Be The Chosen People... once and for ALL!!!!!

How might this develop?? Would there be a need for weapons? Weapons not yet developed but which might work on eight billion people world-wide. I know this sounds wildly impossible and unrealistic but the supposedly possible and realistic ways have not worked. We must stop trying to do the same thing and expecting a different outcome. THAT is INSANE. 

THE THING IS ... G-d is one and only and alone... and other variations on the Hebrewe word ECHAD. G-d represents .... UNITY... which is in great contrast to the wonderful and infinite diversity of humanity, humans, people.... and more. SO we could consider the great BALANCE between G-d and the domain of G-d to be One and Many. And to teach people to recognize The One and The Many is The WAY!!!!  Alternatively we could have many gods for many different people... and that might work, too... but there seems to be a need for/by all of us to find some Essential Single... a SINGULARITY on which to focus and SIMPLIFY... Yes - there is a need for the Simple... as well as the Complex.. BALANCE IS MOST IMPORTANT!!!! It is important because who really knows... what???!!!

=============================

Just read the R. Nachman stuff on PEACE.... How avoiding conflict is key to peace... for all... SO - what about Israel???

What about Standing, so to speak, as noted above .. and LEADING for GOOD... I can imagine it would not be peaceful at some point or ever?

Do we Jews return to a life of being marginal and weak and having to keep our heads down so as to survive? SURVIVAL is viewed as one of our great traits!! We alone have survived in comparison to Romans, Greeks, Egyptians, and many others..Or were there so many others beyond the Romans and Greeks and ???

I once thought all Jews, Israelis should leave Israel at the 50 year JUBALEE point... and thus allow peace to come to the region... and to be an example to the world!!!

HOWEVER - facts on the ground are what they are. The people of Israel want to remain! That is THE FACT!!!!

Consider - The Holocaust -- did it speed up the establishment of The State of Israel? The Holocaust and the preceeding animosity of the Arabs in the 20's and 30's in "palestine". IF there had not been WW2 and the Holocaust would Israel have become a nation later in history in some peaceful manner? What might have been?

ALTERNATE HISTORIES!!!





2026 Daily - 04/10/2026 - Les Miserables

Just finished watching Jean-Paul Belmondo version of Les Miserables... Wonderful... And yesterday finished watching When do we eat... BOTH start very slowly and then the middle and the ends are worth the wait!!!! That is a lesson to keep in mind... Today so many movies ... start fast to get you hooked... but then do they deliver? The two mentioned above DO DELIVER!!! Feelings and ideas and all.

A quote noted at end... by Victor Hugo --  "the best is yet to come" -as noted below -- in the movie hte quote goes: "Our best years are yet to come"... As they ALL dance at the wedding of Salome and Marias.... with Jean Valjesn - Paul Belmando - as presiding mayor!!!

And - "Buffalo Bill's son doesn't shoot like his dad" which may refer to how Jean Valjean (aka Henri Fontin) 

is not like his father... and is better.


AND MORE by - While Victor Hugo is often associated with themes of optimism and the inevitable dawn of better days, the specific phrase "the best is yet to come" is more commonly attributed to poet Robert Browning.

However, Victor Hugo is famous for a very similar, iconic quote about hope and the future:

"Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise."
— Les Misérables
Other Notable Victor Hugo Quotes on the Future and Hope:
  • "There is nothing like a dream to create the future".
  • "If you wish to understand what Revolution is, call it Progress; and if you wish to understand what Progress is, call it Tomorrow".
  • "The future has several names. For the weak, it is impossible; for the fainthearted, it is unknown; but for the valiant, it is ideal".
  • "An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time has come".
These quotes reflect his belief in progress, resilience, and the inevitability of positive change, even in the face of despair.
 I DO LIKE/LOVE VICTOR HUGO!!!!! 
He was against capital punishment. He was for the power of education to fight crime. Build schools so you can close prisons. And he loved love!
Hung out w/Steve and in a few hours (is it now 3:30) Neal will be here with food for our Friday night dinner.
Weather is unstable today --- some sun, some clouds, some rain... changing from hour to hour. More rain due tomorrow... maybe.


Thursday, April 09, 2026

2026 Daily - 04/9/2026 and yesterday ?? and tomorrow..

 missing days.... yesterday was full... Blue Light treatment in morning for facial pre-cancer cells. Then some waiting ... and then Ellen came over and we watched some movies... parts and one full. And we massaged each other (my massage table is getting some good use)... and slept the night together.. I did put together a meal for us (salmon, potatoes, and a salad). 

TODAY - Thursday - awoke ... had some matzah brie made by Ellen .. good.. some talk and some hanging out and she went home in mid/late morning. I have been in the house staying out of the sun... Watched When Do We Eat... and may yet watch Belmondo's Les Misserable...Neither film grabbed Ellen. 

Spent a lot of this day binging through Young Sherlock... kind of good.... He has as a friend -- Moriarity! At least so far!

And that is that... pretty much...

Oh - made air reservation for NYC and got another hotel after realizing the one I had was on 32nd street and not 42nd street. Amy plans to take me to Broadway production of Rocky Horror Picture Show... Cool!!!

Tonorrow -- clean, get things for donating... maybe do taxes... AND CONSIDER -- singleness, remarriage idea, etc... about such things to consider.

Tuesday, April 07, 2026

2026 Daily - 04/7/2026

 hmmm... having less to write... fewer ideas... except...

passover reading of 10th plague -- G-d does the slaying ... suggesting to me .. another reason why capital punishment is not something for us humans to do... it is BEYOND us... And there were two executions by Israel... one wrong!!!! (

Meir TobianskiJune 30, 1948Firing squad - exoncerated in 1949 - MISTAKE!!!
During the 1948 Arab–Israeli War, the first execution took place after Meir Tobianski, an Israeli army officer, was falsely accused of espionage, subjected to a drumhead court martial and found guilty. He was executed by firing squad, but later posthumously exonerated.
Adolf EichmannJune 1, 1962Hanging

Omer counting ... compassion, humility... discipline... etc... 

I saw Rachel today...  Had a light workout. Got music for University Chorus... The rehearsal seemed to go very well!!!!

Didn't go to bookclub...

What does the FUTURE hold for our Country? So much going back... abortion and then also women who are willing to give up their vote... and probably take it away from others...  DISSOLUTION!!!! Of out country and even the whole world!!!

2026 Daily - 04/6/2026

 And so it is Monday... the week begins -- CBS zoom to service did not work today... I hope it comes back soon.

Went to Dr.'s appointment -- wellness checkup. I DO need to qand WANT to lose weight... My A1C is borderline really bad... Blood pressure up... IF I don't correct - then next time I will probably be open to the GP-1 drugs...Yich!

Had a decent workout ... elliptical and lower body. Will visit w/Jim in a while. Then evening rehearsal -- carpooling with some folks. Uta, Robin?, and ???

What will I eat before rehearsal.... perhaps... a handful of chicken? And some matzah?


Monday, April 06, 2026

2026 Daily - 04/5/2026 - Sunday!!!

 What is happening today... and what I wrote yesterday was done yesterday... THIS is starting a bit the evening before.... Saturday Eve - April 4, 2026....

I wonder about who and what I am... There are things to be done... and are they getting done as per value to me???

Long termers:

Family, friends, a special freind, gardening; community; hobbies - most specifically music;  

Short termers:

a car; travel, some hobbies..

Am I liked? Am  I good? Am I ok, even? Am I bad? Am I annoying? Am I just not thought about???

My self-confidence - questionable...  My SELF is in doubt!!!?? A prime example is shown in the post: 2026 Daily - 04/3/2026 - as a Jew I ....Rigid or flexible?  I am, essentially, not very sure of most anything so I often don't speak though I may do some actions. So it is hard to know me!

BTW - I realize that my position on capital punishment is partly based on the general lack of full clarity about the perpetrator and victim. What were motivations and are they important? Was there a provocation and does that matter when life is at stake.

(published on the 5th)


Saturday, April 04, 2026

2026 Daily - 04/4/2026 - Caring?

Who cares? What does who care about
?
Who/What Do I Care About????
  • my daughters
  • capital punishment
  • myself
  • Judaism
  • friends...
  • lady friends
THEN - how do I care? 
  • time
  • thoughts
  • money


THE INSTRUCTION: FROM R. HILLEL:

  • On Self-Responsibility & Time: "If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am only for myself, what am I? And if not now, when?" — Pirkei Avot 1:14
AND AGAIN - from/about me... and how do I feel -- now, usually ..... in the past?

Was I well cared for as a child... I say no and then there were the words of parents who said yes... SO what was the reality? In terms of money - pretty good. In terms of time - well Pop saw and did what he wanted but did not see ME. Mom was obviously present as she was a stay-at-home mother but she and I did not talk or really relate... I think because I as a male was distressing to her from her experience growing up without a father and with an older brother. And her preference for Debbie. Back to my Pop... Did he like Debbie because he was told to by mom? Did she protect Debbie... Was anger my pop had towards women (his mother died earlier than he wanted, he was middle child of three boys, etc????) deflected onto Debbie in a reversal of how he treated Mom?  He liked sports but had bad feet, he watched sports ... without a lot of commentary or challenging me to remember stuff (stats, names, etc). Was he a master of distraction?

Was my father a Very Angry man? And at/to whom did he direct that anger? He wasn't much in clubs, community.... and at home he yelled a mom when she did not do what he wanted (typing, cooking, ???). He yelled and hit me when angered by things I did which he thought I should not do... even to getting bad grades in school! Who hits a kid for not doing well in school? 

I did grow grow up thinking I could did wrong while my sister could do no wrong. About my sistrer I cannot be sure ... but as for me -- I was always criticised clearly and praised generically. Whatever my interests, passions, etc were was looked at as something I might do as a fad, a short term thing..... barbells, telescopes, etc.

So - CARING.... and Being Cared for... --- not easy for me... to do or feel. I try and I do ... but not as consistantly and easily as it seems to be for others.

Today, this year... I am sort of paying attention to how I am, feel, think, etc... It is the year of mourning the loss of all in my original nuclear family. The Beard ... which "ages" me may be a tool and may be removed.... maybe ... in August.. on my birthday... the day after my sister dies a year ago from that date.... INTERESTING!!!????

My year of repair!!!! And hopefully my health will hang in so I can enjoy my new backyard and soon a new bed and some more traveling and more service to others and a fix of the guest bathroom and ?????


Friday, April 03, 2026

2026 Daily - 04/3/2026 - as a Jew I ....Rigid or flexible?

 As a Jew I am asked about Israel, about anti-semitism, about the Holodaust, about rituals and holidays, about ethics, and more.

Relative to anti-semitism I usually answer thatI have not experienced it much or at all.

About the Holocaust I say that those horrors were truly terrible, horrible, shameful, wrong... BUT not directly related to issues of anti-semitism... now.

About rituals and holidays and ethics ... and more ... I can say a lot with informatiion and experiences and questions and education.

Israel is a very special case... and always has been. Isreal is one of the central pillars of Judaism. For most it is a supporting pillar and for some it is a pillar that is not longer important in a universalistic humanistic world... if there is such a world, I have come to wonder! As a pillar it was for a long time a yeaning. In the mid-20th century and up to now, 2026, it is a reality on the ground, so to speak, that is nationalistic. When we yearned for Israel and for Jerusalem we were a nation. Now we a a people with a nation and the nationalistic needs of the geographic realities. Israel is no longer some ideal. Israel is now real.

I am not a person who is committed to many ideas, points of view, feelings, etc. One thing I say I am committed to is I am fiercely against captial punishment. At my Seder this year I mentioned that in regards to a new law in Israel allowing for capital punishment and I oppose that for any and all who might be subjected to that consequence!

I am also a person who is committed to the beauty and wonder of the State of Israel. Israel IS. I am proud and happy we have a homeland after 2000 years of yearning. I am proud knowing Israel has defended itself againt great offenses. Israel is strong and successful relative to its survival!

I am also what I think is referred to as a humanist. I believe in the basic goodness of most people. Pollyanaish is another way to describe me here as I say I think, feel, believe that most people are good and want to live productive positivel peaceful lives. 

SO what is the core of the problems in the Middle East with Israel on one side of the conflict with the other side consisting of those called Palestinians!? NOTE I use the word Palestinians but I could instead positively use the terms Gazans and WestBankers to distinguish truly separate identities and sets of possibilities and problems. However, in both cases - the leadership of all the conflicting groups is at the core of the problems. The leaders want to be leaders and they maintain their positions by stirring up the pot of conflict so as to mobilize followers to the distraction of hate and hostility. Fear and threats seem to move people to come together in defense/offense. Love and joyfulness are much more personal and subjective and directly connect individuals. Hate and hostility bring groups of people together in communities. Individuals seek and find peace in families which are small intimate communities. Therein lies the differences and the core of the problems.

I AM a member of communities. That is more real and true than I sometimes think and express. And today in my senior years I do not want to be outside of community however my positive committment is to the greatest community on Earth, the community of all good people who want peace and love and truth and equity and equality and acceptance and tolerance! Those "wants" transcend individuals and families and communities and nations. I want peace for all everywhere! So: DECLARE PEACE!!!!

I say all the above as a Jew with a community and a family in a nation. I have loyalties on some levels to those distinct and overlapping groupings. I SEE THE OTHER!!!

Discussing these ideas is very, very difficult. I often find myself hearing others AND acknowledging others while others do not seem to hear or acknowledge those who are other to them. I generally find people have taken some side .. and defending that side is paramount in any discussion. Seeing the other and considering what I can do relative to the other is in my power. When I sense the "other" ios not considering me or some other and not considering what they can co relative to me or some other... than why carry on the discussion. Rigidy seems to be strength to most of us. Hardness seems synonomous with strength. The truth, in physics, material science, etc .. is the opposite. Bending is more more likely going to allow a person or structure to survive, live, grow. The rigid and the hard crack and break into pieces and do not survive, live, grow.

WHEN WILL WE EVER LEARN!

2026 Daily - 04/2/2026 - not April 1st... but recap here

SO - missed writing yesterday... I was feeling oddly wierd, not right... with pain, stressed.... Did some stuff preparing for 2nd nite Seder... lots done by Sarah and Carlos. Got to Nancy's -- and was ok, better. Invited Libby and so now we have a count of 18 for tonight... Nice number.

I'm taking some tylenol... and that is helping. I did get on elliptical yesterday... and may do it again today if time permits.

As usual - sleep not so great.. but interuped by thought for Seder... See document... which I just added  to.... and which will be added to below...

Note: zoom not working well at CBS... no connections and it is now about 8am.

Soon - I will make matzah brie... savory... or sweet... may be choosable at table. 

PREP continues -- seating set .. for 18 people and there is room for 2 more if anyone else shows. My personal script is set, too.... 

Tuesday, March 31, 2026

2026 Daily - 03/31/2026

 homr now... Just back from a newly forming grief group for men... young men to be helped by other older guys...

Sarah and Carlos due later ... it is now almost 9pm... and they may be in Brentwood now which is a little over an hour away.

today was fine ... I got stuff out and a little setup for Seder Thursday. 

I am achy... from workout and perhaps poor sleep on a too soft bed. Bed situation will be corrected soon. In fact got refund from Saatva... and deposited it ... so that is that... I may yet keep the bed... as a spare... I do need a new bed!!!

nothing much profound today... thought the Grief Group was a place and opportunity for me to speak a bit... Truly I wonder about my sensitivity ... etc etc.. Dad got his way!!! That is my new story. As for telling my story-sides to folks like Steve and Jeremy and others... Why bother!?? Why do something for them... or to them,

Garden Dave texted me ... and will be here with steps and plants Friday. As will Adriana.. And Ellen? Will she still be here?

Monday, March 30, 2026

2026 Daily - 03/30/2026

 Almost end of day... and I'm really tired... Barely remembered to make some kind of post...

Well - tomorrow - visit w/Rachel, walk w/Ava... 

AND - Ellen will join me/us for 2nd nite Seder...and she will make the potato kugel... And I'm going to try making the boxed passover cake with an additional egg AND yogurt... 

found a nice music thing of African music... see: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZswnzkQHWxc which is titled:  "INSTANT CALM Zulu Vocal Harmonies That Will Soothe Your Soul | Relaxing African Music"

and now -- to sleep... bed... etc etc.. after Long Life tea...orderer? - NO - can't find it... maybe out of business.

2026 Daily - 03/29/2026 .. Sunday flying back


 Movies watched on plane to DC.. Bugonia, Sentimental Value, and The Chorale.

Now in United lounge. Beer and snacks. Aok...

Last few days in Spain seemed exhausting.... And so I didn't write. Two back to back long bus rides... And seemingly too many views of things from the outside.... Or. No ticket for Black Madonna in Montserrat.. I wad feeling annoyed but held it in to not be negative. We did have some good meals... But one was an optional! Too many optionals which I think should be included! Imho. I need to pay more attention to what's included and also THEN make A comparison. BTW.. Morocco or Ireland/Scotland on agenda.

As for seating.. I mostly got over it AND... plan to make contributions to the Ukrainian stuff Michael does. He is brave!! And wheelchairs???

When I get home... This time.. Some life changes!!!

walk

Eat less

Stretch

Workout of course

Massage!!!

Writing
















Thursday, March 26, 2026

2026 Daily - 03/26/2026

 Long drive today. I'm not happy with seats. Will complain at survey time.

Saw cave dwelling and in Valencia saw wonderful stuff from outside. Actually.. Disappointed we did not have time to enter shot museum complex. Too long a drive for one day with no entry to cool places. That may be the same in Barcelona except for optional extras cost thing to Montserrat.

Seating: assumption that Vic and I were together; failure to give what Michael said we'd get on LONG trip, poor rotation that put us in front of bathroom. Oh... And lousy lynch at crowded road cafeteria. All in all . bad travel day. So that's that.

Off to included paeilla dinner... with drinks. Tried an ok aqua del Valencia.

Early up and out tomorrow. Last two days in Barcelona. More stuff ONLY from outside. I'm souring on Trafalgar.




Wednesday, March 25, 2026

2026 Daily - 03/25/2026

 i am tired, Its late-ish,,, I had a beer at dinner.... I am thinking... Drink less but then I drink alobg with friends. OY.

Day full... Alhambra plus walk around town of Granada. Nice place,

Lots of mentions of Jews,,, though few live in Spain. There has been a return of Moslems.... Interesting!!! Moslems came as workers recently. Jews still staying away though I note Chabad does have a presence as per web listings.

Nothing profound. Might try to write Ellen an email... Or to sleep perchance to dream

Tuesday, March 24, 2026

2026 Daily - 03/24/2026, day 4??!

 Good day. Cathedral in Seville as well as old Moslem building??? And flamenco at night.

And ... Me and choice.... As per automobile decision .  it vey!!!!

That's all for now. A bit late and a slightly early start to Granada tomorrow. 

Monday, March 23, 2026

2026 Daily - 03/23/2026, day 3??

 Is this day3 ???

Good day. Saw BIG mosque... Now a cathedral inside and operating.. In Cordoba. Quite a tour and site to see. Later a tour of an olive farm oil production place. Had a taste of one with definite tomato aroma. Bought for gifts and personal use.... Ad after I use Greek oil..  Today there was a lot of time on bus..  But alright.

Tomorrow... A cathedral and more and then dinner and flamenco show.

Tired now... Some Times games and then sleep.



Sunday, March 22, 2026

2026 Daily - 03/22/2026 - Toledo and Madrid, day 2

 End of day,,,, after optional dinner show,,, REALLY NICE,,,  Spanish opera and good food and wine and SANGRIA which I liked.

During day went to Toledo - I got some gifts and a souvenier, SawJewish Quarter and Synagogue, Saw some cathedral and government buildings from outside,,, Sunday meant we couldn't go it... BUT we did get to see the GREAT El Greco painting.

All together a good day,,, Lots of walking,  I used the knee supports, People all very nice, Talked w/Juan and Elena, Friendly folks. 

Talked movies,,, Last one mentioned, essentially = DIVA,

Now to bed,,, 7am bags out, breakfast, on the bus at 8.


Saturday, March 21, 2026

2026 Daily - 03/21/2026 - First day Spain w/Trafalgar

 End of first day with group. ok!!! Even got an invite to Mike's table when alone. Very nice of hin and i look forward to that. Things w/Vic and Hollie and Marie fine. Vic and I went to the Prada ... ok time. I was tire and that was a downer... I slept hardly at all last night. I hope tonight will be better. Also looked at bull fighting ring and took some pictures of outside. They still do it! And sometimes there is a statue of the father of antibiotics who helped save the lives of many matadors. Name - Dr. Flemming! Tomorrow... Toledo and more. party dinner tomorrow night.

The high speed train we took from Jerez to Madrid was kind of impressive. FAST - sometime over 150 miles and hour!

At dinner talked w/Neal from Cherry Hill who is traveling with his parents.A guy from India, I think. I mentiioned to Holly as followup to conversation last night = some more movies I like.. Grand Canyon, LA Story... more.

I am off to sleep NOW-10:20pm.

Friday, March 20, 2026

2026 Daily - 03/20/2026 - Jerez

Missed yesterday... Here now. Got hear after meeting Vic at train station...He was without luggage... airline problem. Getting resolved as I write and he is training back and forth to seville airport to put his hands on it... Seems good and will work.

Today - easy day ... fortunately we did not reserve a sherry tasting or Vic would have had to pass so as to get luggage. WE DID SEE a wonderful flaminco show..at Los Mejores Vinos De Jerez -- small venue, good seats, sherry and food and show... A lot!!!! 

We are now with Marie and Holly. Having some fun.. eating, drinking, talking, a bit of differences of opinion, aok... I hope and think.

Now it is half past 4 and chilling, digesting, I tried to walk to a church but got lost... came back ok...  .We had a lot to eat... tapas like... (and some pre-lunch ice cream). Dinner.... maybe .. Right now full.... but thought is to have a real meal. We'll see.

Tomorrow - early morning fast train to Madrid.. and hook up with Trafalgar Tour.

Right now... A nap... wake at about 5:30 and go to lobby.

=====================

Listened to some music.. Canadian and other... On youtube.

Dinner...real, ok... Salad and carbonara.

Vic got back with his bag. 

And now .. Sleep and early morning start.









O

Wednesday, March 18, 2026

2026 Daily - 03/18/2026.... Faith

 In hotel .. hostel in Seville. Good long day traveling. Tired. Took a shower. Texting and calling possible on my phone via Xfinity plan. Tested a bit. Looking good. Data something else.

Local time.. 7:10pm .. I'm hungry and heading out to eat. I've identified a place. More info later. Probably too bad I'm not spending more time in Seville. BTW... This hostel is basic inexpensive, clean.... Ok. 

_----------pause--------+

Faith from r. Nachmans book.... Faith in my self PARAMOUNT. And there's the rub... I just don't have a certain level of self confidence that I could and SHOULD. That is at core of my troubles.... Deciding things to do or get. Deciding about people. My waffling on issues is ok... To a point. Choosing what to finally and fully own is the problem. . rethinking thoughts .. ok ... Redoing that which has been done. Harder to undo. Possible... But sooner rather than later!!! Do I have the strength? What do I want, need....to change???? When???

_--__--------------------

And..

Nice dinner at little local place. Got a little too much. But ok. Salmon and spinach lasagna.   Lots of cheese. Not sure of layers. I could work on it!!!

Heading to sleep soon .. lights out by 10pm  i AM tired. Good day. Tomorrow should be good, too!!!, maybe more so.

Tuesday, March 17, 2026

2026 Daily - 03/17/2026

  And today is st. Paddys... I'm heading to Spain. First flight aok..some turbulence... And new Yorker article k we PT in mind. 

And then.. What about planes flying??? seems like magic OR SCIENCE...  Well science explains what feels impossible! Yet TRUST is the thing about what happens and science tells its story which can result in new more advanced stories.. Can I, will I talk to some people about this??? why, what for?  


And then there's a black hat in the lounge... Shall I engage him about G-d??? From that new Yorker book review? I could ask... Can we talk a bit about hashem and kabbalistic emanations? And why would he know what? Anyway.. He's left. 

Who will be sitting next to me on next leg? 

So quiet day. Some texts ably my travels. Nice to have gotten into lounge... Maybe a bit early. They ware not very busy. The lounge has beer and other complimentary dtinks. And sandwiches. And cheese. And soup and salad and cookiu. GOOD. I'm going to stop eating and drinking around 9pm... Boarding around 10:30pm. I have no idea what will be served on plane. Not worrying.

Navigating the blog on my tablet ok... And I do have the keyboard to connect in future. Glad I tried this. Btw... Charging port here seems better, faster, stronger.

And... Now that's all for today.











2026 Daily - 03/16/2026

 this might be last post til April... as I am off to Spain tomorrow... BUT might be able to post... Just not so easy while traveling.

Today - just Facebook/WebCam for services .... Their zoom not working.

I am packed (mostly?). Plan to awake about 4pm and call an uber/lyft... Checked in. Weather warnings hopefully will not really interfere w/travels. 

Pub!ishing.... 3/17...at IAD airport

Sunday, March 15, 2026

2026 Daily - 03/15/2026 - yesterday w/Shabbat so no post... and today- CHANGE and Jonah, `

 It is morning on the 15th.... and I guess along with working out - I generally will not blog, either... unless I have the wherewithall after sundown... Which did not happen yesterday.. AND a break once a week is good!!!

READING - and thinking has be wondering about monotheism... a New Yorker book review suggested the primary thing was NO IDOL worship...within religous systems that have references to other gods or a trinity or many gods as amongst Hindu people... Interesting !!! And I wonder if "other" gods might be like preliminary offices/officials similar to bureaucratic folks you go through to get to the Main Person or to G-d? 

........Just got a call from Cindy in Florida... they were at the condo cleaning stuff out .. found some silverware and china which I said I would be interested in ... They will pack and ship... I keep saying -- hire someone .. but they will do as they will... very generous! I said something about my father not really wanting me to have/get anything. Cindy's response was - it was good I was in contact with my mother and sister at the end. Cindy said my mother loved me... I didn't share the thought that was part of last night's conversation w/Ellen where the idea that she and my father didn't know how to love. AND I would add something I alluded to in that conversation which was my mother was ineffectual... to some extent. Some have thought (Brucha) that she was the Queen Bee... and that may have been true .. that she was served or to be served by all... However - my father had Power... and he excercised it quite harshly!!! That is excused by some because that is how it was in those days... However - those of us (me) who suffered under that harshness did suffer and were scarred. And that may have/probably did happen to Debbie, too. She just took it differently.

BTW - she didn't know why my grandfather  on my father's side died  so I will put an email out to Arthur now. As I wrote ...  I thought -- maybe I did hear that he died of a heart attack. Anyway - will hopefully hear back, one way or another.\

Today, Sunday -- packing day!!! And workout. And check travel documents, etc.. and send a note to Vic to coordinate some travel. 

Yesterday had lunch w/Sarah - getting stuff clear for Passover... She has to get a lot of stuff since I will be gone. AOK... she is being terrific. And - Susan will make a kugel... Sarah and I will take care of salad, etc.. AOK!!!!

Also saw Ellen. Nice afternoon, early evening. Watched most of Sinners and I will finish that while working out. Had dinner at Walnut Creek Original Joe's which was very very good. Sat in the bar area which was fine. Sat near some young women who were celebrating a birthday and did some talking with them... Nice. Then I drove home to sleep in Davis and awake to do stuff... little of which I have actually gotten to yet -- and it is 10:30am. SO -- off to some staging of stuff for my trip, soon.

======puase at 10:40am---------stage packing!!===============NOTE: there are thoughts I recorded on phone and which I should listen to and write up ============

==Back sooner... 

Just received a note back from Arthur... Heart attack or stroke - probably at work...  Arthur ended note with the phrase - keep in touch... Made me think - well  - does he follow the rules of seniority?! As did my father... As I think about my father who never initiated a call/contact with me... I realize my father did maintain a relationship with his older brother but not his younger brother. Was that a matter of ageism? And then there is this very recent cartoon from the New Yorker which speaks to me:


Kid on swing talking to kid holding a ball.

“Do you want to be friends? The kind where you’re always the one who has to reach out?”
Cartoon by Jon Adams


Will I send it to him? To Michael Hirsh? Why bother? And what about another note to R. Simon? Maybe I will add it/make it my Sig File on emails? EEHH.... it is always - why bother?!!! Who do I care about?!!? As they care about me?

==============================

Watched Oscars ... some interesting  not-seen movies out there!

AND from Recording NOTE I took while driving:

Change -- Jonah is a story about change...Who really changes?  People of Niniveh certainly try? Jonah doesn't change from beginning to end... His caring empathy is absent throughout the story! Individual does not change... Group does change.... And whether or not the change holds is a question for the future while in the moment... it IS REAL... 

Is change possible is so often a question. Are we free? From this I considered maturing understandings of G-d...  And I wonder - who is comfortable hearing about another's understanding of G-d - or is that often uncomfortable!??? 

AND THEN - listening to R. Nachman of Bratzlav book... and DESPAIR??? which I have felt relative to Israel and it can apply to anti-semitism...

BUT ABOUT ME... well --- YES, terribly. I too often awake and say - I just don't care... It doesn't matter -- whatever "IT" is?

HOWEVER - the point always is: CHOICE... we are FREE to CHOOSE how to proceed... each day, each moment, with each person, each situdation, etc etc etc...!!!

Note: Despair and Change and Freedom and Caring and Choice... -- ALL connected....  or only a subset .. but these are the essentials... to the FUTURE... to tomorrow...  I can/do feel anxiety... AAHHhhhh...

What is The Arc of History... And - HOPE HAPPINESS HERE -- The Way is HERE.... Mindfulness... Seeing, noticing... whatever one wants to noticibly feel...

FROM SECOND NOTES, Recorded

Monotheism vs Idolotry... Phycical idols vs functional idols.. i.e. Intermediaries...And Kabbalah has the ten emonations... Early anthropromorphism was real... and it was The Way to Communicate... talk to humans in human language... BUT - if metophorical... or viewed as such and then MATURE... to The Force... or at least to something beyond physicality, etc.. 

AND THATS ALL FOLKS....

Friday, March 13, 2026

2026 Daily - 03/13/2026 - Unveiling decided -- and SEMANTICS...!!!

 ahhh... to be Friday the 13th ... when this is published - even though I am beginning it the night before with a THOUGHT...

NOTE - just off the phone w/Cindy - it is now 1pm California time -- and I told her I will not be there for the "unveiling". Halachachly -- the "stone" is or will be up... unveiled - at the mausoleum?? --- SO that is what is required by halachah. DONE....  And sometime around/after Passover -- boxes of stuff will arrive from Cindy and maybe something from the sale of the car... - MY CAR? - sheeeeeshh.

Later today -- concert of Univ. Chorus in Pitzer Hall... which we are told has sold out its 350 or so seats. AOK! Now -- a nap.... 

I have thought this before ... and may have written a bit... but let me say the following:

With AI on the horizon and likely taking many Human-jobs ... well we have the same type of thing in the early 1800's or so with Sabateurs ... workers throwing their wooden shoes into the new machines... We did get over that ... I think.

THE POINT -- a generation or two of human-workers who expected jobs and which AI can do instead -- will leave those people feeling UNproductive, Useless... etc etc.. Real feelings and thoughts... AND AN ANSWER -  a solution... is to be sure they have sufficient funds to live good lives... and do whatever they may want to do... creative, whatever -- BASED on the fact that todays unemployed workers are living on the shoulders of their predecessors ... See the intro to the book: Language in Thought and Action by Hayakawa -- there he gives a comparison to how a society can think about unemployment and such... One way or the other way... Positive or Negative.... 

WE DO KNOW WHAT CAN BE DONE TO SUCCEED AND GET OVER TRYING TIMES!!!!!

============pause, sleep==================

The Hayakawa - Semantic Parable.... explained, exampled by AI:


A semantic parable, famously exemplified by S.I. Hayakawa, illustrates how language shapes reality. In a town where citizens confuse words with the things they represent, they become trapped by labels, whereas a neighboring town thrives by realizing words are merely arbitrary symbols, highlighting that the map is not the territory. 


The Town of "Fix" and the Town of "Flow"

Once, there were two towns, separated only by a shallow river.

In the Town of Fix, the inhabitants believed that words were the reality. When their ancestors first settled, they wrote a strict "Book of Naming." If a child was named "Diligent," but liked to play, the elders scolded them, saying, "You are a Diligent, therefore you cannot play." If a sturdy oak tree was designated as "Dangerous," no one would sit in its shade, even though it offered perfect protection from the sun.

Their lives were orderly but stagnant. Because they believed their map (the language) was the territory (the world), they refused to update their labels. When the river changed course, they insisted it was in the old location, because "The Book says the river is here." They spent their lives struggling against a changing world, shouting labels at the changing landscape. 

In the Town of Flow, the inhabitants used the same words, but treated them as labels—useful tools, but not the things themselves. If a child named "Diligent" played, they said, "The child is acting in a lively manner, not a diligent one." If a tree was designated "Dangerous," they evaluated it yearly; if it was safe, they sat under it, saying, "The label has changed, so we change our actions."

When the river changed course, they said, "The map is outdated," and drew a new one.

The Moral:
The Town of Fix perished because they worshipped the word, ignoring the world. The Town of Flow thrived because they realized that 
words are maps, not the territory itself. The meaning is not in the word; it is in the context and in the person holding the word. 







===================

a semantic parable

==============================


A Semantic Parable

" usually refers to a famous story from S.I. Hayakawa’s classic book, Language in Thought and Action. It illustrates how the labels we use for things can change our feelings and behavior toward them.

The Story of A-Town and B-Ville

The parable follows two fictional communities, A-Town and B-Ville, both hit by a severe economic depression that leaves many people unemployed.

  • A-Town (The "Relief" Town): The leaders decide to give money to the unemployed. They call it "relief" or "charity." Because of these words, the people receiving the money feel ashamed and "less than," while those paying the taxes feel resentful about supporting "loafers." The community becomes bitter and divided.

  • B-Ville (The "Insurance" Town): The leaders here provide the exact same amount of money, but they call it "social insurance" or "unemployment compensation." Because these words imply something the citizens have earned or are entitled to as part of a system, the recipients feel no shame, and the taxpayers see it as a necessary civic function. The community remains stable and cooperative.

The Lesson

The parable demonstrates that words are not the things they represent—they are just "maps" for the "territory".

  • In both towns, the physical "territory" (giving money to people in need) was identical.

  • However, the different "maps" (the labels "relief" vs. "insurance") created two completely different psychological and social realities.

This story is a foundational example in General Semantics, teaching that our reactions are often triggered by our own verbal definitions rather than the actual facts of a situation.

Would you like to explore more about General Semantics or see other examples of how labels affect our behavior?

==============================



Thursday, March 12, 2026

2026 Daily - 03/12/2026 - Should, wants (revised, added to) - and CSA - Community Supported Agriculture????

 Well... it is about 1:15pm -- so much earlier than last nights writing and publishing....

SO far today - zoom services, checked about vaccines (polio IF/when CVS ok's it), workout, soon rehearsing/memorizing for tomorrow night's concert, refilled front hummingbird feeder, plan to have oil change tomorrow morning after Rotary, rehearse later this afternoon, check a bit about Spain trip and contact Vic... so that is a lot!!!

My thinking continues.. though I had something interesting which has left me... What IS in the news? How poorly is our democracy doing? Why all the HATE.... ahhh....

Saw and spoke a litte w/Linda Sternberg -- unfortunately no communication w/son, et al -- and no interest in pursuing counseling...SAD. And I know!

lunch was random -- banana, cheese, choc truffle, 

CSA - Comuunity supported agriculture --- Hummingbird, Good Humus, others.... Choose and sign-up. !!! Maybe find one at farmer's market and see, talk, learn?

Waiting on delivery of: another oil sprayer, shoes, knee braces, sole inserts... AND now - a nap!

===========

AND NOW -- THE QUESTION.... CONCERN...

Again - I wonder - what gets me doing what? Shoulds? Wants? Needs? Obligation? Trys (experiments)...???

It is The Unvieling which I think of as a should... and definitively not a want. Nor does it seem like an oblitgation similar to saying Kaddish for the year, etc... And I wouldn't have used a mausoleum... and the pictures seem odd, wrong, too. SO - It is mostly a no-brainer.... Do not go! Do not do...! They are all dead and interred and they had no imput from me nor any real concern about me... I don't mean to do tit-for-tat --- no coming to my second wedding... And I have done Kaddish for almost three years now - one year for each parent and almost the year for my sister. I can't imagine my sister doing that for me. And as for my father and/or mother... can't be sure. My father might have ... my mother - not her thing. Besides -- women get off, halachly.

=============next couple of paragraphs added in revision================

Where do I want to be? Who do I want to be? I do things because they are right ... imho... and  often that is/becomes a "should". I may have regrets relative to parents and sister -- and I guess I could say they had regrets... or could have had... BUT now - who is able to make things right, better, good? There is only me now... and I can't even share with people all the feelings and thoughts I have about those people. Those people... led by my father or mother or mother or father ... rejected me -- even as noted by the lawyer who suggested I not look at my fathers will... the message clearly was my father wrote something terrible... and I know he was capable of such as when he said that one horrible unmentionable thing....  IF my saying Kaddish for him was helpful.. ok... By the time my sister passes... and it has not yet been a whole year --- I have realized - I REALIZE --- I must come to terms on all fronts about them... their bad, their good, themselves... BUT it is ME who lives and carries on... and the hurts I carry are significant and the good things were something but not the inspiring warm loving kind of things others talk about and experienced. Their essential self-centeredness/narscisism .. was the most important thing to them... and they did not get from me the obedience, etc they wanted. Their hardness almost broke me... from time to time... I think.. but I want to say - their hardness makes me a softer person.... since I don't want repeats of their ways to be in my life... SO I try to be different, gentle, forgiving, and maybe forgiven.

I never adequately addressed issues with my parents. That was weak and wrong of me. Or when I tried what I tried... it was useless and disappointing. When I had that one serious conversation with my sister... well her apparent obliviousness and denial was so amazing to me as to show me -- there was really at least two different worlds lived in by the Little Neck Firesteins. Maybe more ... if I wonder about slaps, hits my sister endurred and which I don't recall. AHHHhhhhh - if only there was a way to look back in time with comprehensive honesty!

So - how can I be honest? Continuing some kind of relationship with Debbie and HER family -- not for me.... As welcoming and nice and warm as Cindy is... and some others -- the fact is -- two very different worlds and sets of experiences and memories and while I spoke of reconciliation ... what was the point as Debbie lay dying? And what IS the point NOW?

==================above added===========

In General -- if I could come up with a reaons to want to do something... want to be someone... IF/when shoulds can actually be wants... then OK.... Saying Kaddish is a should for the departed ... and a want for the living. For me as I do it -- I go through a lot of feelings - good, bad, positive, negative, regrets, etc... The process of Jewish mourning as Reform would have us do it... doesn't take into account moving the soul of the departed but is a matter of soothing the soul of the living. Conservatives probably do both... move and sooth the souls! I cannot/will not say what the Orthodox think/feel since I might be disparaging relative to roteness and gender issues.