2026 Daily - 03/01/2026 - family dreams

 AAaahhhh.... if only I had a family!!! Or at least a past family... I DO have my daughters and that is wonderful... Just wish I had what others had ... with memories and all. IF I were to place responsibilities .. how much on me... and how much on them... mother, father, sister?  One way I think of things and which was supported by some therapists and friends and family... is that I did not respond well or react well after and while seeing them. Therefore -- to protect my fagile self ... I distanced myself ......ahhh... now to today/nextday....

2026 Daily - 02/27/2026 - overpopulation !!!!!

 The NY Times and NPR and other places have been reporting on the falling birth rate and the reports all seem to address the need for more people. More and more consumers, producers. workers...!! Support the elderly. Don't be selfish. Women should give up being independent. Etc etc... etc..!

On another hand... fewer people consume less, pollute less, use fewer resources, etc etc ... RIGHT?

AND - with abortion now restricted those forces which pressed for taking that right away are now going after contraceptives... AGAIN!!!... 

And also -- various groups feel/think they need to increase THEIR numbers...

Immigration is not acceptable....  YET -- immigration and food and shelter and clothing... etc etc.. is a problem of DISTRIBUTION! A problem of FAIR SHARING.... 

THE QUESTION: How can we shrink the population of the world without a collapse of civilization - read - without an ECONOMIC COLLAPSE?

Answers to that question can be found in some work by economists. Lets hear them so we can consider and make choices that do not risk individual freedom or the health of the planet!

Economic collapse or the collapse of civilization is one way out.... Disease and death by a pandemic or pandemonium - read wars... is a known way to reduce the population. Harsh and quick and chaotic and BAD! In my opinion. SO -- where are solutions that do not call for INFINITE EXPANSION which is impossible!!!!

As has been said -- WHEN WILL WE EVER LEARN... WHEN WILL WE EVER.... LEARN!

2026 Daily - 02/26/2026 - thoughts and beds

 Well - as for beds... I am almost there... A deal for the one I have been trying seems good and changes to the one I have selected likely -- only free frame and maybe a new bed... and haul away necessary (may be the law)... To be "settled" tomorrow ... ahhh... choices!!!!

Then there was my thinking about what if I am asked to help at HH Services? What might I say ??? To all at the Redwood gathering and/or on the Bimah ... during evenings or at Mincha on YK? I might say -- It is really an honor and pleasure to be here. I thank the Board and many people in the Davis Jewish community who have warmly asked me to return. SO -- here I am ... serving as I did for more than 30 years. Where have I been? Where am I? You may ask ... Basically I have prayed and served and been welcomed at a Conservative synagogue in Walnut Creek. I hope in the years I was there -- some shared with Bet Haverim and some only there ... I have learned things and considered things that I can share here and be of help to people seeking the spiritual, the intellectual, the communal. I have never left Kol Yisrael. I may be more part of Kol Yisrael for being away for a while... from this specific community. The point is ... Jews are here and there and everywhere and through all time. We are a people, we are family, we have a geographic space - Israel, we have history, we have G-d. YES - I said G-d... and though people of the 20th and 21st century may not think about G-d the reality is, in my opinion, that G-d was, is, and will be what our hearts and minds must wrestle with. As some of you know === Israel is a word that means One Who Wrestles With G-d.... Sometimes G-d may win. Sometimes G-d may not seem to win... BUT - again in my opinion - the struggle to relate to G-d or to relate to The Good...is paramount in all our lives. I strongly and firmly believe that all people want to be good. The question always will be - What is the Good... Or What is G-d? Or Who is good? Who is G-d. O my or OOOOO....!!!!

Sadly - I had some other thoughts and things to express earlier today when I could not write them down... and maybe they are lost forever... Or maybe they will come back to me... IN any case... let me lead us here in the Redwood Grove in the four affirmations taught by the 18th century modern rabbi - Rabbi Nachman of Beslov -- who is buried in the sister city of Davis, CA -- in Uman, Ukraine...

Affirm Your Faith in Yourself

Spiritual Practice by Rebbe Nachman of Breslov

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Affirm your faith in yourself:

• I believe that I am very important in God's eyes.

• I believe that I can return, no matter how far I've strayed.

• I believe that I have the inner strength to change.

• I believe that I can become truly devoted and close to God.

— Rebbe Nachman of Breslov in The Empty Chair by Moshe Mykoff, ed.

Or perhaps say: may I come to believe I am very important in G-d's eyes...

====thats all folks... for today==========

2026 Daily - 02/25/2026 - dreaming??!!

 Well....  up and at this ... at almost 8am ... as work is being done (with noise) in backyard... After coffee and this writing ... I will go to elliptical and than breakfast, etc...

THE POINT... today, this morning, this week, this month === Too many dreams and thoughts where Deanne is an actor. Wow?! WHY???? What is it/was it about me and her? Well - I have thought about the superstition I have relative to repeating things ... such as dating a Cancer/Moonchild ... or a Virgo. I have talked about the Queen Elizabeth Cunard ship..... AND LOVE!?

What about me and LOVE? Me and feelings and being sensitive? My Virgo father beat sensitivity out of me as much as he could... no crying boy! My mother was??? probably distant and certainly attached to my father and maybe in an unhealthy way. My sister was no where to be found in my life... She was attached to her/our parents in a traditional way... no leaving home without a husband.... and husband prospects had to be specially perfect... SO HERE I AM ... and I think I have serious trouble with my feelings and especially love and being in a relationship. I've been reactive and manipulated and bold. All me ... not blaming anyone but me and my ignorance and poor or lack of judgement. I have benefited by being reactive and longed for being manipulated. I just didn't followup and remained/maintained the relationships. Then I DID feel and express love but too early and to someone who was not trusting or interested or something. Poor choice... AND while I might have been able to maintain that relationship ... I didn't and may not have really wanted to... and maybe I couldn't and maybe this and maybe that...

TODAY -- being older with less testosterone (I never had a lot) ... I am in a quandary. What is good, ok, best.... for me? There was Harriet who took my breath away for about a day/week. Now there is Ellen and she is THERE... though she lives far away and she is busy with her continuing working life... And now there is a return to her after a bit of a break (about three weeks... undeclared... but done)... And there was a geographically distant foray with Dana ... though that was not deep. So ???

AND THEN -- there are the various social media stuff about how being ALONE is good, better, healthy (though TOUCH is missing), less stressful, etc... Contrasting with old Talmudic teaching about how having a partner is THE BEST...

I AM What/where/who I am!!!!! It is true -- no one is coming to save me. No one is responsible for making me happy. YES I would like to be loved... even or especially in a Victor Hugo way. BUT I AM OK.... I THINK... 

MASSAGE -- I need MASSAGE.... I have thought about that for a while... I wish I had a recommendation.... In any case I will find that!!! And soon.

=====pause============

Now it is noon......

I worked out.... 

WHAT DO I WANT????? Who am I? What do I want to learn? Teach?

2026 Daily - 02/24/2026

 Just checked my "Dailies" calendar entry to see if I am doing what I "resolved" to do... AND pretty much The big addition has been blogging each day. Options have barely been implimented including some dinners out and also, higher on that list, more writing. Relative to writing... I could begin that today with work on the DUALITY stuff. Organizing, some editing, more publishing, and new writings.  Also - other options could be made somewhat more regular such as correspondance.

In any case...

TODAY - is a day after a big Stock Market drop and then now a significant but not complete recovery... as of 8:30am. And the recovery is reversing a bit! I wonder what the end of day numbers will be! (and now up a bit...-- AHHHhhh.. Rollercoaster! Do I like rollercoasters??? Sometimes... And they ARE exciting.

Backyard landscaping ... proceeding and a bit expanded ... and going well. AND I've decided on a car IF/when I find it... A Lexus NX 350H and if it fits me and feels good!

AND just talked with a representative of American Home Warranty -- I might take them up on the policy. My AC might need work as might the microwave and the dishwasher and the refrig... I guess they are all possibly old enough to have problems. It is good they all are working properly while true they are old. Unfortunately I don't know how old ... my record keeping is bad ... but all have been doing their jobs well! Thank G-d, and goodness.

By yimminy, or By Gemini....!!

2026 Daily - 02/23/2026 - AI in the future... and...??

 There are lots of things on my mind... some I have written about -- "education, indocrination", "addiction, social media", and more. Today - let me followup on a bit of what I heard on NPR relative to AI, Artificial Intelligence and JOBS....

The recent excelleration of capabilities of AI have people now talking about job losses. What will happen if a significant part (or most!!) of the labor force is replace by AI... robots, etc... A week or two ago I heard a radio talk which noted that Elon Musk anticipates civil unrest with the advent of AI... HERE I MY TAKE:

AI at some point may eliminate a lot if not most jobs. Work that needs doing such as manufacturing and agriculture will be directed and done by AI. With that I say what is NEEDED... is appropriate distribution of food, clothing, and shelter... and maybe services, too. A commentator today said she would not turn over to a robot the raising of her toddler... BUT REALLY? Such raising of children of all ages has long been turned over to those who could afford nurses, servants, tutors, etc. Not, imho, a big difference. SO a lot of jobs of all sorts can be done by AI and attached automated physicalities. THE RESULT: lots of free time for those now out of work. What will people... so many people.. almost all people.. do with that free time? They will consume and create. Art and leasure pursuits. By individuals and by groups/communities.

Some possible details:

1. Bread and circuses is an old model
2. Wars and death and destruction and rebuilding and repopulating is another model.
3. Sex and more children and more pleasures of the flesh and then options 1 and/or 2 above.
4. Space exploration and colonization ... bringing to the Solar System and the Stars... all our workless problems...

New non-reproductive leasure activities... I think THIS IS THE ONE! These would be a matter of consumers consuming time with fun, interesting, meaningful things... And NO Judgements allowed or else conflicts (see #2 above) will ensue. Peace and tranquility needs to be the basis for our behaviours. Patiences, not a lot of competition (conflict!!!??), toleration, acceptance... needs to be how we act and feel. In other words -- human evolution to a compassionate level!

DETAILS:

1. All need to be supplied with appropriate food, clothing, and shelter.
2. All will need "credits" for leasure pursuits. All will need to get an appropriate (fair) amount of credits and trade in basic credits will not be allowed but ways to get additional credits for additional leasure will need to be part of the New World. 
3. Individual leasure and community leasure will need to be available and tolerated. Zoning out on drugs - ok. Using all kinds of immersive technologies alone or in groups needs to be widely available. 
4. Few shortages!!! Wide distribution of needs and wants...
5. A static utopia with an ever shrinking population and fewer and fewer resources be used and polluting the world. Solar Power for the AI and its physical tools. 

WHY NOT?

The problem is people's needs for truly meaningful productive work! How can that be made available to all who want, need that!?

2026 Daily - 02/22/2026 - dating returns...

Had a wonderful time w/Sarah visiting the Quiote Winery in Napa, having lunch, snacks and tasting, and making some purchases. Good time!

When I drove home I stopped at the Hyundai dealership and drove one of their cars... Not too bad... OK. I still need to try a Lexus!!! The idea of what might be the quality and luxury of a Lexus is what is on my mind. I've identified the NX 350h Luxury model - preferrably with just FRONT Wheel drive (most in inventory seem to have AWD).

Spoke w/Ellen and I will try to get a ticket back for the Pence thing so she can join me. We will see if that happens. I've sent the email request and tomorrow an answer is likely, I think.

Today is a great looking day. I got a good night's and morning sleep. Just finished the pea soup I made a week ago. Later - hot links and potatoes... and the remaining potatoes need to be cooked tomorrow/soon. Also had a simple salad w/lettuce and tomatoes and ranch dressing. Defrosting some chicken.... 

Exercising resumed. Left are is weak, weaker... I wonder how much it will recover? Some aggravation to inside of elbow area noted... like when a blood vein is hit when I gave blood. I think I am ok... 

AND I do need to go in a get another PSA test.

And plan tonight is to sleep in guest room and see if that bed is more comfortable and/or comfortable enough for me to get returning the saatva bed.

AND Amazon return to be checked into and done... I think tomorrow might be last day... if last day has not passed for the remaing mask and weekly pill box. Update --- dates for returns have passed. Keeping the items will be ok!

2026 Daily - 02/21/2026 - scattergun blitzkreig..

 I hesitated to use the word blitzkreig as it reminds us of the Nazi's and all the horrors that came with them. Scattergun may be a term also disturbing. However - today it seems we are experiencing in the political world a blitzkrieg of scattergun assaults on the usual, the normal, the historic, and what is right vs wrong.

In the past year of the 2nd reign of Trump he has done soo many things. I would say some are good, some bad, some constructive, some destructive. These things have all happened so fast after years of what some thought was the logjam deadlock of Congress and so - LETS GET THINGS DONE....!!!

Then many wonder - where have been the checks and balances on what has been done and what yet is going to be done? Will we go to war without a US Constitutionally legal Declaration of War? Will tarrifs remain effectively in force since the Executive may ignore the Supreme Court? And can a slow moving Congress move to help fix things?

The tarrifs seem to be OFF as of yesterday because it was a form of taxation without appropriate representation. What will happen before or after the possible War on Iran? Then there are issue related to public health and science. And of course the police state appearance (and reality!!!) of ICE and immigrants. 

What is right in the listing of the previous paragraph? What is wrong? Who can enforce the right against the wrong? For instance - is it legal for our military to obey an order to make war without a Congressional declaration? What will be the response of the Suprime Court if an illegal war is begun and there are deaths and destruction? Who will resurrect and rebuild that which cannot be brought back to life and function!?

I think some think that the blustering and bullying is a lot of talk... and that at the last fateful minute some things will not be done. The idea that one person's whims makes war by either tarrifs or guns is not what the Constitutional system is about. The Constitution is about thoughtful and proper deliberations before monumental actions that are either hard to or cannot be undone. Taxes can be returned. Dead soldiers only come back in body bags.

2026 Daily - 02/20/2026 - my problems? - Sensitive ME!!!!

And away we go..... In addition to my being insensitive... and yet very sensitive... I don't listen to enough music. I don't go to museums and when there I don't get it as well as others do...  Oh well....

Its aboiut 9:30am -- after Rotary, after some reels from Facebook... which included music, images, recipes, psychology, etc... I'm feeling good. Soon Steve will be here (it is too cold, he thinks, for the park) and then David Roos for lunch at Ding How (dumplings???). And more!

There is a note in my email scheduled to go about helping at CBH... who knows? It is short, to the point, I hope clear, and maybe a go.

Tomorrow - a trip to Quiote Winery .. for wine, sculptures, WITH Sarah. Her idea/plan. NICE!

I've worked out a bit this week... I need to strengthen my left arm... which was injured and which has a torn tendon. I need compensating musculature.

=========pause=======

Nice lunch w/David Foos... I look forward to lunching w/him again -- after his and my travels..

PERHAPS .... I have a misconception of myself... Maybe I am sensitive and appear sensitive ... so being spiritual is likely even though I have said and thought -- I am more intellectual than spiritual... There is my MeyersBriggs which is:  ENFJ = Extroverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging - SO SENSITIVITY shows on that test!!!!

I'VE GOT TO RETHINK ME....!!!!

2026 Daily - 02/19/2026 - addition - Social Media

 It is just a touch of a beginning... it is just after midnight on the 19th... I am going to sleep soon .. at the moment I am listening to Biko by Peter Gabriel ... on Playing for Change.........!!!!

A THOUGHT -- on a world-wide level social media publishing is a potential power for good... as was pamphlateering was during the American Revolution ... and also in England (coffee house era) and France (Revolutions...). SO -- is all the energy being directed towards controlling social media a mask for suppressing the possible 21st Century RevolutionS that might develop? And the BASIC QUESTION(s) - what is good? what is right? what is JUST? What is humane and compassionate? What are the POSITIVES that the world needs....wants... and what are NEGATIVES... and who wants what?

==========NOW, in regular morning hous -- 7:45am and beyond===========

at services on zoom... 

last night, now -- rain. should be better in late morning and afternoon.  Adrianna comes today - after Foxie time... and some mess. Not a lot... 

Today - time for a workout... light full body again -- a rehearsal... and brunch (maybe potatoes w/cheese or soup and cheese or ceriel and cheese/sardines) and dinner (turkey sandwich w/pea soup)

AND - just sent a draft note off for advice to a couple of friends.

=========pause======at about 10am===========

The addition issue is THE issue... Alcohol beats marijuana, once upon a time.

Supporting the legalization of drugs is a very difficult assertion... since there ARE terrible things that have happened to people who take drugs... Who use, abuse, don't know what they are doing/taking. Yes - information is important and when laws make drugs illegal it becomes difficult for users to know what they are getting. Reglulations and standardized tesing and authentic information is THE ANSWER...  When it comes to Social Media -- well?? Calling it an addiction puts a terrible label on it which cannot be asnwered except by suppression.

2026 Daily - 02/18/2026 - almost no post....

 Just posted yesterdays.... and now at 11:30PM I am writing here... as I watdch a Kelly Boesch reel.... They are fascinating!!

In any case -- today was ok... Made a LEO for Sarah and I, worked out!, met w/friends for Spain from Portugal, watched some Prime Suspect - I have one last season to watch. Went to R. Stein's class and R. Brownstein's.. OY........ Sent invites for Passover... and got several responses. No NO's... early yet. 

Pergola is about up and complete. Tomorrow may be the final day... It will include going to services, a workout (w/some video), maybe lunch or breakfast out, and a reheasal....

2026 Daily - 02/17/2026 - Oyvey AI

 (ahh... one month to St. Paddy's Day -- and I think I will be in Spain..?)

AI, AI, AI...

What will happen as AI is more developed? What do science fiction depictions have to say? What does Elon Musk have to say... And what do I think?

Star Trek, Star Wars .... still lots of people doing stuff, directing stuff, etc... But cooking? Done. What about construction? What about farming? What about ART/creativity?

Elon says --- social unrest is on the horizon with the advent of superintelligent AI.

I say -- probably!!! My concern is what do people do when they don't have to do anything to produce food, shelter, and clothing? An answer is... be creative - but do we all have that capability? And besides -- people are experimenting with AI making art, music, etc..  Be productive - but all is produced. SO - CONSUME?? Not a prospect into an infinite future. There is only, really a finite amount of resources to consume. SURE - recycling could help. SURE - AI could REDISTRIBUTE wealth and resources in an objectively rational way... HOWEVER -- the "regulation" being called for is - perhaps - suited to the interests of those who already have an oversized slice of the pie, so to speak... SO while their needs are less than their resources... they still want to protect themselves and what is theirs... OY!!!!

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