Nice dinner and hangout with Jonathan last night. He now drives a LUCID... 75K, all electric. Interesting.
Today is a pretty wide open day!!! A couple of zooms. It is now about 8am... and a good workout should begin at about 9am. AND THEN -- there is a pre-prepared martini in my fridge which has been there since Sunday (today is Wednesday) and the olives in the vessel need to be eaten and the glass frosting in the freezer needs to be used... SO --- as the clouds are in the sky I think this will be a wildly and truly wasted day... THOUGH I may try some writing or editing or prepping my and/orBlog... AAHHhhhhh.. Writing - that is my passion. As I write here and now --- it shows. As I think about wanting to be read, listened to or just heard, and have a purpose .. Writing is IT. Teaching through writing.
A PROJECT - my parents and I and other parents and their kids ... Source of woes - the parents and their wishes and hopes and preferences and the shadow they throw on relationships. Even I was subjected to that though my insensitivity or shame meant I didn't realize certain things about my parents and which i obvious to some other young people... SO - what is to be done!???
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on another note: TRAVEL... Japan, South Korea, Morocco, Croatia/Turkey, India, China. THOSE are places I would like to see and which I have never been. For relaxing - Hawaii and/or Fijis....?? Or again to Thailand, north.
I have not been to the northern part of Thailand and there they do cooking and massage and maybe I could do a short expat thing there.
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And - in a couple of days -- Mother's Day. Will there be a Whole Earth Festival on campus??? I think they are putting stuff up. so yes.
What shall I do? Send something to Susan Hildreth? Get something for Ellen? And others???? Maybe Sheera, Samantha, Helene....Holly, and Linda and Dea?
And say something at Hillel - to the prideful!? Such as:
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You are all beautiful... though some of you are more handsome and others are more pretty and essentially - words don't always feel right even if the feelings generating the words are loving.
AND sometimes the words are ok, right, loving but the person expressing those words has negative feelings at root.
However -- Mixed Feelings are probably most common and those feelings and the words expressed may confuse and may hurt and may be twisted. Dare I say that mixed feelings are essentially feelings that are mixed up and further - the expressions of those feelings in words is sometimes messed up!
Rabbi Hillel said - Don't do to others that which you would not want done to you... Do no harm. What we can do is be strong and certain about who we are and be compassionate to all - oursevles and others.
I had a messed up relationship with my parents and significantly I was not healthfully strong. I had some very difficult times with my two daughters... but thankfully and hopefully we are in a good place now .... after counseling and work to be a family. I recommend counseling. I recommend work. I wish you all well!
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I want balance... not dominance. EQUALITY!!! In all things. Compassion, acceptance, tolerance... Including, especially with Intimacy
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