2026 Daily - 06/24/2026 - Today PURPOSE.... quest...

 What purpose shall I pursue today? There is a meeting of the Davis Chorale/Community Sing group tomorrow... I could: 

call Enterprise and CAPradio and TV stationS to see how to get on.... And at meeting - ASK: have we coordinated with other singing groups in Davis/Yolo? And who are they?

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For a new Jewish presence in Davis what is wanted, needed, etc...: a school; a place to study; a place to pray; a place to gather.... AND -- is it necessary for me to re-sent email that was sent? Well - I did, just now (6/24/26 at 8:17am).

For me - it is about who I basically am.... a singer, a sharer, a server, and more..... dare I say a believer? a person with some learning, a learner.... 

It would be something for me to really become a decent TEACHER!!! My last foray -- the talk about mourning/death rituals was really not well done. Maybe someday another chance...

I have done a wedding, a memorial/funeral, Shabbat services, High Holiday services...  and ???

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2026 Daily - 06/23/2026 - write??? PURPOSE???

 Well -- before writing ... let me get my bearings, so to speak, for TODAY. First -it is NOW almost 6AM - and I've been up for an hour or more... Time zones after traveling .... difficult on both ends - going and coming. NOW I get to sleep but awake early...  This will pass.

Upcoming biopsy has me anxious... Who will help me... be with me... This Thursday... I think I shall postpone biopsy for a couple of weeks. Stuff on Satursday night and dog-sitting and Sarah away and Ellen?? etc, etc... Just a little much....

As I sit here writing at this time ... I am cleaning up around the house in prep for Adrianna... I have let things explode a bit onto surfaces, etc... and I need to put things in their proper places. Did so in front of house... Next - bedroom. Then back into this office... after breakfast. Walking w/Ava and seeing Rachel... and then lunch and workout (upper body weights and more..)... - maybe car shopping before workout.

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Now it is near the end of the day.... Nice walk, saw Rachel, lunched on half of the chicken deal, worked out, read a bit... facebooked/reels, and now Brilliant Minds on Peacock...

==Some thoughts=== where am I? Who has helped me get here... without any support? Did I deserve support/appreciation/LOVE....

I did deserve love and appreciation and SUPPORT!!! and now I am wihout any immediate family.

I AM OBSESSING... I MUST STOP!!!!

I am just not sure who I am with or who is with me... AND then back at them... YET... 

Stop obsessing... Start something....!!!

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And... am I wasting time? Existing w/out purpose... THATS THE QUESTION... PURPOSE.... GOALS...WHAT DO I WANT? 

WHAT DO I WANT???!!!!

And -- where do I want to do it? With whom???!!!

etc.. etc..

2026 Daily - 06/22/2026 - and here again LOOK AND WRITE.... soon -- anti-anti-semetism, and more

 Back after trip to NYC... and Carneguie Hall.. more about that later..

Is fighting anti-semetism working? And who might it best be directed to.

What about -- leaders... and the recent Neurenberg movie... - Cry of Jerimiah, too. And Talmud?

2026 Daily - 06/15/2026 - Amy, Amy, Amy -- and stuff

 Ahhh... today - not a great day for Amy and me... however day is not over. She can hate me for not hanging out with her wholy on her terms. Or we will see if she can stop dragging me and my past into the present. I have asked her to not do that.. and she keeps doing it... and while she can probably justify it .. it still hurts and is something I will not abide. She has whatever her problems are... and they are not now me... nor were they me so much in the past, imho. YES I have accepted her feelings but I don't know if there was really any real evidence. I know I blew up in a bedroom scene and a camera thing in Africa...  and of course the Rosenthal living room scene. AND there was shouting between her mom and me and between me and S-2... and that was scary for her and I didn't fully realize that. It is for her to get counseling over that... and for her to trust me in the present... OR whatever... or not... I'm totally tired of the negativity and I am not interested in subjecting myself to it... since in the present and for many years we have not been at it. The fact is as I recall -- I was a pretty good father and patient to a fault sometimes. I get no respect for some of that... and so I am tired and uninterested in carrying on with fixing that which is not something I can fix. I can listen... and I do.. .BUT there is nothing more I can do... As one might say: Screw It.

I mean -- I have no control over Amy's feelings and her choices of behaviours. She, to my mind, is stuck hating what I did... and distrusting me, etc.. And - I can say the same about her behaviours. Control, control, control.... and I like my freedom! I don't interfere with her freedom and support her, too, and my "reward" is a major lack of respect! 

It is about 1:20pm... I've taken care of UCDavis parking, got appointments for biopsy and HISU, found out what I need to do in NYC for Senior Discount on Subways. 

2026 Daily - 06/14/2026 -

No endings in Jewish literature? ... as per Dara Horn... in her book; People Love Dead Jews. I think it was in Chapter 6 (I'm listening to the book so have a bit of confusion over where I am).

AND - Myth making... such as - Jewish names were changed at Ellis Island... That may not be true...she offers evidence... but in the end she also thanks for the mythmakers for the positive effect of that and other myths.. .It is  The Story... not the history that is moving! I might say that when both are in harmony ... A+...  AND as for name changing -- there is the movie with Gregory Peck titled: "A gentleman's agreement".... Free to watch at: https://watch.mometu.com/short/harry-gentlemans-agreement and maybe Netflix,

QUESTIONS... not to discuss or not to discuss anti-semitism... especially now that it is rampant and tied, correctly or INcorrectly, to Zionism. That is for another discussion... The thing is: antisemitism is real now, then, and tomorrow... with or without any mix with Zionism and the Middle East.

Another Question: What is good, bad, ugly about looking at the past and reviewing facts and conflicts with stories... An example I got taken in by was relative to Ft. McHenry of the War of 1812 and the Star Spangle Banner... Serveral years ago an exciting and compelling take on that story in animated form went around the Internet. It may still be there... and it was amazing but not true but a great STORY. A bit better than the truth that Francis Scott Key could see from his vantage point. 

So what is the points of deconstructing and re-constructing... Freedom of religion? Racism? Anti-semitism? etc etc...

2026 Daily - 06/13/2026 - World community and population - How do we get to simple?

 It is about 10:30pm... Just hung out at home today.... watched a bunch of tv including the Knicks game. I did go to Walnut Creek but I left early... I may have had a reaction to new meds taken incorrectly. I will fix tomorrow morning.

The Knicks won... That is WONDERFUL....  and I might be able to attend the ticker tape parade in NYC... I will be there on Thursday... the issue is coordination w/rehearsal... which takes precedence.

It is hot... and the fan in living room is effective and I suppose the one in the bedroom will be, too. Now I am in my office and I will need a fan here.

THE ISSUE for me to research and report/write on is The World Population and the web of relationships it has to greed, basic economic needs, resources, immigration, fertility, distribution, production... EVERYTHING... air, water, spirituality, too,  Dominance, control, tolerance, acceptance, hate, love...COMMUNITY....

THE WHOLE WORLD COMMUNITY!!!! The is THE issue... and it is wide and complex and yet..... maybe simple? THE question is... how can it be simple and how do we get there? - OR - How do we get to simple? <---- good title for a book?

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on a personal note... I sent a note about how I felt and she responded ... moderately. It will be interesting to see what develops! I hope... but reading what Amy thinks and feels leaves me with anxiety and doubts.

2026 Daily - 06/12/2026 - about on time

 Now... about 9pm... Friday talk w/Steve, lunch and plan for finance stuff stated... w/Andrew, some workout, dinner w/Neal at Buckhorn... home and some Spooks... Sad to hear about Alex and Ed... relative to Churchill....  Who's to care? Who's to do what? AHHhhhh..... stories.

Blood test.. ok... sugar high.. some other stuff high... not sure what to do except ... lose weight and lower carb intake.

Finished cookies and ice cream. 

Steak and broccoli salad available... as are bagels and cream cheese, etc... And eggs and cheese and mushrooms... 

Tomorrow night.. Knicks game... 5th game... they lead 3-1... Could finish it tomorrow... I hope so!!!!

NY trip coming up... Packing and practicing and stuff... 

Question for Amy???? Disturbance!!!!

2026 Daily - 06/11/2026

I hope home warranty person comes and fixes things!

Too bad I lost some thoughts yesterday! I think I know now how to better recover. Hopefully no more losses.

AND - last night here in California -- the Knicks Won... in a nailbiter I did not watch because it was making me too nervous... but they pulled it out - YEA!!!!

2026 Daily - 06/10/2026 - doing, being, Middle East history AND democracy! 9after losing text)

 To do or not to do... OR To be or not to be... OR BOTH!?

Earlier I lost some good writing... and this is an attempt to get some back...

First -- 

DEMOCRACY... 

As so many people vote for the least of the bad... OR they vote/don't-vote for a candidate based on Party while thinking both parties are essentially the same.

I think there have some basic differences in my lifetime. One difference I have asserted is the Democrats care about others in groups and as individuals while the Republicans care only care about individuals and each person for themselves. It may be the recent success of the Republicans is due to their addressing concerns that seem to be for groups such as males and/or whites and/or the wealthy.

There is a similarity when viewing the Democrats as caring about both individuals and diverse groups assertively. Democrats celebrate different groups and the individuals within those groups. Sort of equal concern for groups and individuals!

The groups addressed by the Republicans reach first towards individuals within groups. Be a man amongst men for example. Tolerate non-whites who behave as much as they can as whites. The goal is assimilation of the individual into the group.

AND there is ONE GROUP we are all part of in the USA and that is we are all USA Americans! Not "americans" because Latin Americans and Canadians and many others are also "americans". We in the USA are USA Americans and we have done very, very well!!!!

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cutting to a point:

As our political parties are viewed as being the same... and as one party - the Republicans - seems to be opposed to fascilitating voting and the fair participation of all people as they gerrymander arrogantly the time is not for ALL to vote for Demorcats for the sake of democracy. OR for the sake of democracy - vote for Democrats!

2026 Daily - 06/9/2026

 Funeral today. Taking Linda Sternberg there.

Earliet - walked w/Ava, took Rachel to Costco.... and now writing this. Stock market recovering a bit from a deep dip... probably due to war with Iran and the downed helicopter and promised retaliation. OY!

Oh .. and today is day after Knicks lost 3rd game of series and are now 2 and 1... ahead of the Spurs.

LATER --- work in backyard. As for lunch.... some bread and olive oil is on my mind. Dinner will be chicken wings from Wingstop. BTW - I DID OVEREAT last night... I should have not had the pizza... AND I knew it!!! OY!!!!

Adriana comes today... I have only slightly cleaned up ahead of her visit.  And I need to reset a lunch meeting w/Andrew.

Did not overeat or drink... 

Sprayed in back

Walked and also did elliptical

AOK day....

I had a thought... and lost it... oh well... story of my life. 

2026 Daily - 06/8/2026 -- ????? - Israel vs Rituals and Jewish Americans!!!??

 ah... it is early Monday morning... services ongoing... 

Postponing Tuesday meets... one lunch w/Andrew and the other Dermatology.... So I can attend funeral of Stu Bresnick. OY! Dermatology canceled... Andrew got my message and will get back to me. AOK.

WHAT is the Big Idea... for now, this time.... The idea generally always is NOW.. The Time Is NOW... Do it ... do it now. Do It Now.... DO IT NOW...  What IS is?!!!

What is the final frontier? Space? Time? Life? Death? Or is there an end to anything? If no end... how can that be stated? And is there IS an end... what does that mean?

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Israel vs Rituals, et al.

SO --- Israel has been a great yearning of the Jews for centuries. It is our homeland from which we have been exiled many times. Many times Jews have returned. Generally the returns have been pilgrims, I think, who decided to stay. There was no conquering of the land... just a re-population of the land by Jews. Sharing the land was the norm and purchasing bits and pieces over time the way to establish homes and villages and cities and today a country.

ALSO over the millenia - riturals and rules and ways to live as a Jews were established and followed by Jews living in Europe and Africa and Asia and the Americas... etc. 

And so - I can see many types of Jews... Can't you? I see secular Jews for whom Israel is THE thing. For others religious ways and means is THE thing. Then there are groups who meld both. Than there are groups who deny one or the other of those two pillars.

Is there a third pillar which can help all Jews find stability and solidarity!?

Perhaps that pillar is our ethics and morality and HUMANITY!!!  Our understanding that compasssion for ourselves and others is essential. That Lovingkindess is The Way. We can have and feel compassion but our acts of lovingkindess is how we move forward to true peace and tranquility. 

THE QUESTION then becomes - how to be compassionate and show/do loving and kind acts when the people to whom we might be so... are attacking and killing and further threatening us?  Our sage Rabbi Hillel boils it down to: If I am not for myself who am I? If I am only for myself what am I? If not now - WHEN?

And WHEN will others show us compassion and lovingkindness? Is RECIPROCITY important or not? Some might say - love your neighbor and turn the other cheek. We say - do no harm... and break bread together!

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Hmmm..... a thought about Jewish Americans or American Jews... Where are the Israeli Americans or the American Israelis???

There are: Irish Americans and Italian Americans and African Americans and Mexican Americans and Chinese Americans and Japanese Americans... OR perhaps those dual words can be reversed... BUT where are American Israelis or Israeli Americans???

I find that INTERESTING.... and cause for more thoughts and curiosity...

First - most American Jews or Jewish Americans are Jews with no direct ties to Israel. Certainly no recent historic ties to The Land. Yes -- a great yearning ... but in the USA... generations of Jews who's identity was not land based. The question remains, as noted above, what is the basis for one's Judaism? Perhaps when Israel is part of that identity with the millenia of yearnings the Israel considered is an ideal. Perhaps an unreal IDEAL! Or an Ideal to be REALIZED someday?! The someday would be the Days of Moshiach??!!! Days of Paradise on Earth... !!! A time of peace and love and abundance for all.

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ordered chicken wing deal... pickup at 3:15 on way back from visiting Jim.

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2026 Daily - 06/5,6,7/2026 - catchup

 It is late on the 7th.... I did not post yesterday (D-Day and Shabbat.. and got together w/Ellen and met her brother Louis.... and learned about a tv show, available on Peacock called.... Brilliant Minds - an Oliver Sacks based medicatl show). THEN the day before --- dinner w/Neal at Symposium, basic Friday - Rotary, Steve... a workout). AND today, the 7th -- woke-up w/Ellen, breakfast, a 2.7 mile walk at Lafayette Reservoir.. and back home and chilled and watched some tv (too much!!).

And now it is a bout 11:40pm and off to sleep very soon.

2026 Daily - 06/4/2026 - what today?

 It is now about 4am on the 4th... so obviously I am not getting good sleep from Wednesday, the 3rd to the morning of the 4th, Thursday. Looking at my calendar I see I have nothing on Thursday after the morning minyan so I expect to rest, nap, sleep!!! I hope that happens and works. Will see and write about it later!

I did ger rest. I got a burger and ate salad bag. I was on the elliptical for an hour and a half. Had pizza and beer w/Rick. 

Decided to pick up Foxy in afternoon of the 27th. easy and direct and clear/clean.

I two thirds thru watching To the End of the World on Prime... an older short series with Cumberbach.

It is almost 10pm and I will retire early!!! Up for Rotary and food bagging. Then Steve. Then a workout... Dinner w/Neal at Symposium. etc etc...

2026 Daily - 06/3/2026 - trying to keep up

 I am trying to keep up with this blog.... and am publishing things "before their time", i.e. before fully edited, vetted, completed. SO -- that is how it is... LIFE is not something well edited, vetted, completed... one might say!

Again today --- roller coaster stock market. Started lower for my etrade and now up (it is 8:21am).. At the end of the day????? -- HERE - up or down?

Today we get the results of primary elections and they say there are MANY mail in ballots to be counted in California - most of which they say are Democrats... and so will Steyer come up? Right now -- it is Hilton followed Bacerra followed by Steyer. A crazy/rude followed by a regular followed by a Good Business Type, imho.

Relative to Israel and anti-semitism ... Mamdani is still being a jerk. I hope HE burns himself out for his international views. I still have positive thoughts/feelings about his local social agenda. BUT MAYBE ... people vote, generally, on International Issues because they are so often disappointed in what happens locally against big business, etc.. The international level is beyond their lives and while their lives will not change they hope to see change for others. INTERESTING?!!

2026 Daily - 06/2/2026 - anti-semitism and What I need to do for me.. AND ME

 Resources for combatting anti-semitism...

https://www.jns.org/news/u-s-news/at-annual-forum-ajc-launches-playbook-to-combat-jew-hatred?utm_campaign=Daily%20Syndicate%20Emails&utm_medium=email&_hsenc=p2ANqtz-9UE0JmJAzaeGbBjpWxGxHOD_XKPV4WW2SkO63oiSUQBAe_7sAqf_LZwHRUEkPzt1gUH2f6cz0EiNRgER2dvEXFwc2Iaw&_hsmi=137295126&utm_content=137295126&utm_source=hs_email

generally see:  https://www.jns.org/

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FOR ME... 

I need to be better able to answer questions about past people... 

What was my mother like? My father? My sister?

What is Ellen like?

What was ... past girlfriend and wives like...???

WHAT WAS THE ESSENCE OF THESE PEOPLE? WHO WERE THEY?

Who was I in relation to them? What was I doing???? Why? How? etc. etc... So many questions and so few answers at the ready! BTW - there are two answers... one just for me and one for others... Maybe several for several types of others..??? BUT FOR ME... brutal clear honesty might be useful, helpful, etc...

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Who am I???

I AM a caring person... and as such I AM A GOOD person... My problem is my memory for details and even macro stuff. I don't debrief much which would possibly help me remember things. When I travel alone ... that clearly is a lack... HOWEVER - I am still a good and caring and compassionate person. REALLY... I am told that.. I am told I listen (even if I don't remember stuff as well as the talker might hope).... And I truly ADMIRE those who are caring and who also remember... A point: if someone helps someone remember something from the past that was negative .. that is OK... since that negativity has been survived!!!! And if you help a person remember something good... well that's good, right! The past can't be changed ... ... it can be learned from and one thing to understand is I/YOU are STANDING HERE NOW!!!! You are ok! Things are ok... maybe even better/best/great! So there!

2026 Daily - 06/1/2026 - 1st of the month... DO's - AND two ways, balance, what DO I feel?

TODAY:  ride bike??? eat well... ?? (indian food w/Ava), usual workout....

Beginning of loose days of summer, i.e. - no anchor from chorus singing.\

AND see Jim... And some thoughts:

THOUGHTS:

It often seems to me there are at least two reasons for this, that and the other thing...

Aspirational feelings once upon a time. Now I am tentative... and also while stuff is good, easy... I am not sure of warmth. And politics is different between me and Ellen... Will that be the problem it seemed to be once... Will I be the bad guy insisting on at least discussionS. Or have I learned?

In the past ... I have jumped in early... aspiring. Did not learn enough to do what was right. I accepted not getting good responses... Didn't fully believe... NOW -- I am ... afraid.. to get it wrong... For my sake and the sake of the other... 

Communication.... Will I try? What will happend? Can we find a way to get closer...?? Geographically? And physically? 

WHAT DO I KNOW!!!! Am I warm or cool/cold? What is Ellen? We ARE comfortable, I think. We are something to each other. But - what??? For how long? Why? Where? OY!!!! More on this in next post.

2026 Daily - 05/31/2026 - big day.... music...

today... I will work out soon (it is now about 7am). Then rest, then Davis Chorale at about 3pm and then UCDavis University Chorus at Mondavi at 7pm. Big day!!! 

I hope to do a little something in backyard garden... At least some spraying (done)

... Maybe some pulling. Maybe some trimming (new trees "suckers? and maybe grapes some more).

Dreamt last night.. A women... who was refusing to do something ... I was only observing. Her objection was personal and intense and righteous and authentic. I think the issue was political. Note: I expect to join a (twice a month?) postcard writing group this Tuesday evening at 6pm at Andrew's house. TEN postcards to ???? for politics. 

I hope to see Ellen around concert Mondavi time. Sarah, too.

Last night I hosted poker/card game. Nice. I did not win... but hanging out with guys was good. Weird... but I did not have any alcoholic beverage. Just didn't want anything.... I did enjoy chips, salsa, guac, cookiers, grapes. I probably could have eaten less... but someone had to eat!

I heard from Sheera .... She got tiks for concert.  SO: Amy and a friend or two, Vic, Sheera and Mark, Mitch and Laura....  NICE. Should be a very nice day. Concert, drinks/snacks, Rocky Horror Show... and maybe late night dinner....