Well -- before writing ... let me get my bearings, so to speak, for TODAY. First -it is NOW almost 6AM - and I've been up for an hour or more... Time zones after traveling .... difficult on both ends - going and coming. NOW I get to sleep but awake early... This will pass.
Upcoming biopsy has me anxious... Who will help me... be with me... This Thursday... I think I shall postpone biopsy for a couple of weeks. Stuff on Satursday night and dog-sitting and Sarah away and Ellen?? etc, etc... Just a little much....
As I sit here writing at this time ... I am cleaning up around the house in prep for Adrianna... I have let things explode a bit onto surfaces, etc... and I need to put things in their proper places. Did so in front of house... Next - bedroom. Then back into this office... after breakfast. Walking w/Ava and seeing Rachel... and then lunch and workout (upper body weights and more..)... - maybe car shopping before workout.
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Now it is near the end of the day.... Nice walk, saw Rachel, lunched on half of the chicken deal, worked out, read a bit... facebooked/reels, and now Brilliant Minds on Peacock...
==Some thoughts=== where am I? Who has helped me get here... without any support? Did I deserve support/appreciation/LOVE....
I did deserve love and appreciation and SUPPORT!!! and now I am wihout any immediate family.
I AM OBSESSING... I MUST STOP!!!!
I am just not sure who I am with or who is with me... AND then back at them... YET...
Stop obsessing... Start something....!!!
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And... am I wasting time? Existing w/out purpose... THATS THE QUESTION... PURPOSE.... GOALS...WHAT DO I WANT?
WHAT DO I WANT???!!!!
And -- where do I want to do it? With whom???!!!
etc.. etc..
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