Hanging in here... may be getting better. Cough mostly gone. Headache is better after taking decongestant. Interestingly -- I had "acid reflux" in morning for about 40 minutes. Nasty feeling. Being sick may be a way to lose weight.... Today I am not feeling like eating and will probably eat less than usual. Tea and honey w/lemon juice... on the menu. And breakfast/protein bar(s). At lunch I'll have some sausage and sour kraut from what I made yesterday... IF I FEEL LIKE IT... May not. Or soup (tomato, also made yesterday). Yesterday I was feeding a cold. I may have had a fever. Poor night of sleep... but I think naps and tonight will be ok.
Ahh. stock market -- big 2 percent dip... as of about 10am. Some recovery as of 10:17. Rollercoaster!!!
Send an email to morocco place David Copp suggested. I wait. AND put in a claim for leaky dishwasher. I wait... The warranty folks are trying to schedule something. Seems cool.
Ave/Eva just brought over robotussin AND tea cookies and fruit salad. VERY kind of her!
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it is now a bit after 3pm... coughing, nosal dripping, headache.... NOT great. I could certainly feel better!!!!
Just read in VIA from AAA about Route 66... THAT would be a DRIVE!!!! And AARP had some info about car safety issues.
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SO - who am I? Am I living MY full life? What would a full life look like for me?
This is coming from sources quoted in the book: "Staring at the sun" which is about death anxiety and its mirror image - life anxiety. Do I dare live???? TIMING is now relative to my age (almost 77) and the end of saying Kaddish for my sister and before her my mother and before her my father. I say I AM FREE... and yet am I acting/behaving, thinking, feeling FREE?? I wonder and often say NO... but then I don't know WHAT TO DO! It is always a matter, for me, to DO SOMETHING... and that is different than BEING SOMETHING/SOMEONE....
I have an impulse to retreat. To not attach. Yet I do attach but with some tentativeness. I think about burning bridges more than building bridges. I don't want to be bothered or bother to figure out how to be?!
What SHALL I do?!!!
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