Generosity

So... generosity. Ah - isn't real kindness a very generous thing. Generosity is a behaviour which is done with no expectation of a return of the favors.

OR... in the words of many others, many with which I agree but some I don't:

Generosity is giving more than you can, and pride is taking less than you need.
Kahlil Gibran (1883 - 1931)

He who confers a favor should at once forget it, if he is not to show a sordid ungenerous spirit. To remind a man of a kindness conferred and to talk of it, is little different from reproach.
Demosthenes (384 BC - 322 BC)

That's what I consider true generosity. You give your all, and yet you always feel as if it costs you nothing.
Simone de Beauvoir

Generosity with strings is not generosity; It is a deal.
Marya Mannes

Sometimes when we are generous in small, barely detectable ways it can change someone else's life forever.
Margaret Cho, weblog, 03-11-04

To be able under all circumstances to practice five things constitutes perfect virtue; these five things are gravity, generosity of soul, sincerity, earnestness and kindness.
Confucius (551 BC - 479 BC)

I have three treasures. Guard and keep them:
The first is deep love,
The second is frugality,
And the third is not to dare to be ahead of the world.
Because of deep love, one is courageous.
Because of frugality, one is generous.
Because of not daring to be ahead of the world, one becomes the leader of the world.
Lao-tzu (604 BC - 531 BC), The Way of Lao-tzu

In dwelling, live close to the ground.
In thinking, keep to the simple.
In conflict, be fair and generous.
In governing, don't try to control.
In work, do what you enjoy.
In family life, be completely present.
Tao Te Ching

Too many have dispensed with generosity in order to practice charity.
Albert Camus (1913 - 1960)

We are here to add to the sum of human goodness. To prove the thing exists. And however futile each individual act of courage or generosity, self-sacrifice or grace-it still proves the thing exists. Each act adds to the fund. It needs replenishment. Not only because evil flourishes, and is, most indefensibly, defended. But because goodness is no longer a respectable aim in life. The hound of hell, envy, has driven it from the house.
Josephine Hart, "Sin"

He who gives what he would as readily throw away, gives without generosity; for the essence of generosity is in self sacrifice.
Henry Taylor

And that is that for today.... (except I might go over some drafts and publish them)

Love to you all! Ken

THE Ketubah

A couple of days ago - on Friday, Nov. 26, 2004 - the day after Thanksgiving we decided on the following:

Here is what our Ketubah looks like;



And here is the text we will use;



Karen also has found a wedding dress.

The next big thing is deciding on a band and we have several good leads, we think.

More to come, of course. CHECKOUT: www.geocities.com/kkaern2004

moving along and something new

THE SOMETHING NEW is a new blog at: librarianken@blogger.com
Check it out.

Sheesh! Lost the first writing of this day... So to reiterate:

Settled the Ballroom thing. Put down a deposit yesterday.
Caterer needs confirming. Seems like Morrisons will be it.
I will ask Bruce to be my best man tonight and then Susan Rosenthal will be asked to be part of My Party.
Bands are being checked into. We will select one soon. Several seem good.
Flowers are being looked at, too.
Other things are coming together.
Tango lessons continue but I don't practice much.

My Family !!! - Who, what, where? etc....

So.. I was writing about the future and that it is an unknown and an unknowable, etc... etc... And yet we plan and hope and have expectations. And then we have miscues and mistakes and changes. When things began with Karen and me things got to changing immediately. A sign? An omen? A good thing? In any and all cases - IT WAS REAL.

The story - we decide to go out for dinner. We choose Sudwerk. It is too crowded and so we make a change. We go to California Cafe. We order drinks and the drinks we order are glasses of wine. We almost immediately find that we would both prefer Martinis and we change the wine to Martinis. And so it goes....

Other things are stable, so to speak. They continue as usual. And that is nice.

And changes can happen. And we are devoted to each other. And we can count on each other. And we are free, too. And we have made choices. ahh.... goooooodddd!!!

serenity, equanimity

1. The serenity prayer....
(
G-d, grant me the Serenity
To accept the things I cannot change...
Courage to change the things I can,
And Wisdom to know the difference.

or
2. Dwell in the great equanimity.... (may I dwell in the great equanimity free from passion, aggression, and prejudice)

Whatever!

3. Pain is real but suffering is an option.

Ladidah - - and that is all folks. for today.

another week

So.... yesterday, Sunday, 11/14/04 - I got another rejection by my sister. She just can't seem to figure out a way to come to the wedding that would reflect emotional maturity. I guess. Either she can't do it or she won't do it... Won't because of the past. Can't because she is just not yet old enough to get it. She is physically 51 years old but emotionally she is still Daddy's girl or something like that. Too bad she never got out of orbit. And as for me... am I still in their orbit when I grouse over this? Well... maybe and and then again maybe not or maybe This is IT! But - peace unto all.

So... I want to come up with a plan to really develop surragates for my old biological family. Someone to be my dad and/or mom and my sister, too. Maybe get a brother. And some local cousins. But REALLY. There could be a role for Linda Sternberg (sister) and Larry and Norma Rappaport (dad and mom?). And Neil Hollander (brother?). What about Bill Bowsky? And Linda and Stu, too. And Syma and Bruce. Lots of possibilities. Sign them up sometime! REALLY

Karen is out of town today and tomorrow. So... what is for dinner? I know - how about some hot italian sausage with wine or beer and salad and olive bread from Safeway! YES!!! Do I not eat what I want to sometimes? Maybe... and maybe not. I must lose some weight. Again! I must watch how I eat and what, etc... And I must enjoy it, too. Right!?!!???

I miss Karen. She is away at a meeting and enjoying some time at a beach in Ventura. Good for her!!! I can take it. Sure. Of course. On another hand I remember my dear departed friend David who did not like traveling. Some of that dislike may have been discomfort when away from home. He and I were born under the sign of Leo and we like our dens/homes. Another aspect of things was that his wife may not have been content alone back at home. Ah....

YEARNING!!! Do I yearn? For ??? The spiritual life! YES. Sure. Why not? How? When? Where? On a retreat????? Depression - the biggest bugaboo! So says Rabbi Nachman. I concurr. Talked w/Kristen today at lunch and she may be sliding, as she says, into depression. True - there has been much stress for her and confusion and such does not lead to happiness... Ah.... I hope she figures something out besides Paxel.

moving on...

Another Monday. Another four years. Another this and that. It was a nice weekend which passed. Karen and I put up a lot of pictures around the house and the house looks nicer. Saturday was a good day, too, and we checked with a potential/probable caterer. Good. And back a day further - we had a nice havurah Friday night dinner at Pearl's and Raymond's.

The book club I am in met last night and the discussions were interesting. How could someone be closely linked to the Holocaust and yet not be changed in some way? The character fortunately escaped the horrors but seems to have not been changed. IF he had remained in Germany and there had not been the Holocaust he would have been the same nebish-like person there that he grows into while living out his life in London. He doesn't really make contact with people.

AND.... is that at all what I am like? Do I make contact with people. The title of the book is/was "Making things better" and I may do that???!! but is there really contact between me and others? I do complain that I am not listened to by friends and family and others. I live with that distress. I am not sure it is getting better. Hmm...... Yiich!

What is happening?!!!???

soo long....

It has been several days since I have written and the country has re-elected GW Bush to a second term. And today is Shabbat and so am I to say and think and believe that G-d's plan is for Bush to be president. Well..... very interesting. And very debatable. The debate can be framed in many ways. Essentially the questions come down to who kwows who is in charge? We can say that G-d is in charge but before the facts it is our apparent free will which is in charge. Apparent because - who knows? And when would anyone know? G-d knows!

The number 18 means life. In a book I have - on page 17 - a number before the life-number Rabbi Nachman of Bratslov says two things:
1.
"Everything in the world - whatever is and whatever happens - is a test, designed to give you freedom of choice. Choose wisely.?
2.
"There is nothing very mysterious about free will. You do what you want to do, and you don't do what you don't want to do."

SOOOO....????
A Bush 2nd term is a test. We have all done what we want to do. We have all participated (and a lack of participation is also participation). We have all put various resources to the task and we always? get what we pay for. Right? Hmmm.... that is a point to pursue.

Back to the Rebbe - I like his stuff. I work with his stuff. To some extent I study his and others stuff. I love his stuff. His stuff helps! I think I must contact his Hasidic group!!!! I think I would like to become closer to that group and maybe that will help me come closer to G-d and All. Shabbat Shalom.

Monday, Monday

What a weekend. Ups and downs and all around!!! Saturday night's costume party was good. Karen and I went dressed with bathing suits and beach ball and sarong and goggles. Fun enough. I danced a little tango (w/Karen, Kim, Arlene). I did that ok. More soon. Met the teacher of tango so that was something, too.

Sunday was a full day. Most importantly we went Ketubah shopping in Berkeley and we found something we like and will continue to think about it and look a bit further, too. Nice text and pretty nice art. Wisteria and not grapes. Sarah and Margot joined us on our quest and had some good comments. Then Judy and Hillel showed up. We all had lunch (actually Sarah had to leave for work but she did really get that $20.00 - Margot was really into throwing money around! - including the issue of hiring a wedding coordinator which is a sore point with me at this time - but we shall see!!!).

Here is the Ketubah we like


Except for the fact that this year has had a World Series upset and the fact that what the Redskins do in football really has no relationship to the election - the Redskins DID lose their last home game and that has correlated precisely with the loss of the incumbant party in the upcoming election. We will see what tomorrow brings!

Halloween was last night and it was a bust in regards to how many kids came around. I returned some candy this morning to Longs.

Mundane, mundane, Monday! I am working on several things and staying fairly organized. Tomorrow I am off to SF for three days of training which I hope will be interesting and enlightening, etc. And I hope to call a Union meeting in the near future. It is very disturbing about the 2-day proferred vacation days which librarians may not get! We will see what we will see.

I am planning to not go to chorus tonight or for the rest of this "quarter". Soo much going on. And scheduling problems.

And now - what about a nice picture of something or other? Or a visual-oriented link?

So here is a Picasso