Anything can be or become a fight. Anything can be and is a stress. All may be happy, funny, light, etc.. etc.. The same things can be sad, harsh, heavy, etc. etc. Judgements, bothers, rewards, punishments. Things are the same and things are different based upon the observer and his/her perception which is based on many, many factors.
We make distinctions and sometimes those distinctions are judgements which we feel or think. They are emotional or intellectual. In any case - the more judgements the less indifference and indifference is the great evil. The content go to hell. Those who don't care are without any cares! As long as we make judgments the more we are actively relating to what is beyond ourselves. We may describe or analyse something in an apparent neutral way but in any case they are judgements at some level. Something is more blue than green. Something is 100 degrees F. and that is hotter than something which is 80 degrees F. More or less hot. More or less blue. The less we judge the less we relate. The more indifferent we appear and become. Indifference is a way of rejecting relating. Indifference is the ultimate rejection. Or so it may seem.
I have felt and thought that indifference sucks. Silence and indifference is rejection. Is Silence Golden? Silence IS peaceful. The dead do not make much noise. The dead are rejected. Do they also reject? Suicides are said to reject! How does it feel when one is ostracized? When one is excommunicated? When one is not listened to? When respect is not given? Do such thing suck? Do they feel badly?
OR.... AND... ETC.....:
There are several posts I have written but which are now in "draft". I will probably go back and publish or delete them... BUT today? --- why not publish. And about what? Well.... I have been thinking - what is peace? What is silence? What is love? What is hate? And then what are people's responsibilities to each other and to their communities? Ah... but peace IS THE THING/GOAL and silence is soo often recommended. Keep silent. Don't respond. Don't argue. Don't fight. Don't even bring any difficult things up... no matter how tactful. Really !!! that is what is soo often recommended. And then Rabbi Nachman says - be happy. Don't be depressed. Don't get into a dark space.
My sense about stuff. All subject to reconsideration, discussion, and change. I generally do not think or feel absolute about anything which is a character flaw or a way of remaining open to new information and possibilities. OTHER POLITICAL STUFF is blogged by me, too, and along the right side are links. Check them out! Note: some may be daft and that is me. Copyright claimed (who knows - maybe a book deal someday?)
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
my religion of DOUBT
The basic problem with religion is that while clearly one type does not fit all there is the simultaneous sentiment by some that all should be of one type. This is obviously mutually exclusive. This is obviously the way of the world. We obviously have a problem.
There is a solution to the problem and that solution is to have a community which is inclusive of all forms of moral and ethical living without respect to religious beliefs and practices BUT based on some transcendent being or force. There is a need to have some ultamite basis for morality and ethics so as to recognize where there is a line beyond which one canNOT go. The LAWS of a land are not such a line but they are the best we have and the best we can have. Those LAWS must be agreed upon by all sentient beings to which they apply. The phrase "sentient beings" would include all those victims of the Holocaust but would not include unborn fetus' as anti-Abortionists would have us think. Included within "sentient beings" seems to be dogs and cats and even horses. In other words those domesticated animals with which humans relate in some aware fashion. Dolphins are part of this group, too.
The "laws of the/a land" are the best we can have as we live within a world of wonder and doubt. Doubt is a REALLY GREAT FORCE. Doubt is something which can make you pause because with doubt there is not certainty that any ultamite act is absolutely right and true.
AHHH..... ---- DOUBT!!!!!
On another hand - doubt often does lead to anxiety. When one is uncertain one is often anxious and maybe afraid and when we are afraid we sometimes do things to try and achieve certainty. BUT - at bottom there was and is doubt and with doubt there can be no certainty. Doubt is more true than any truth. Truths often are of the moment. Truths are based on cultures and perspectives and other things that change. Feelings effect what we think is true. Feelings change. Our age, how old we are, effects what we think is true. That changes, too. Faith is gained. Faith is lost. Doubts, too, change, but conceptually - all hail DOUBT! And as we act let us acknowledge our doubts and acknowledge that things change and realize that being tentative is being most real and honest and true.
There is a solution to the problem and that solution is to have a community which is inclusive of all forms of moral and ethical living without respect to religious beliefs and practices BUT based on some transcendent being or force. There is a need to have some ultamite basis for morality and ethics so as to recognize where there is a line beyond which one canNOT go. The LAWS of a land are not such a line but they are the best we have and the best we can have. Those LAWS must be agreed upon by all sentient beings to which they apply. The phrase "sentient beings" would include all those victims of the Holocaust but would not include unborn fetus' as anti-Abortionists would have us think. Included within "sentient beings" seems to be dogs and cats and even horses. In other words those domesticated animals with which humans relate in some aware fashion. Dolphins are part of this group, too.
The "laws of the/a land" are the best we can have as we live within a world of wonder and doubt. Doubt is a REALLY GREAT FORCE. Doubt is something which can make you pause because with doubt there is not certainty that any ultamite act is absolutely right and true.
AHHH..... ---- DOUBT!!!!!
On another hand - doubt often does lead to anxiety. When one is uncertain one is often anxious and maybe afraid and when we are afraid we sometimes do things to try and achieve certainty. BUT - at bottom there was and is doubt and with doubt there can be no certainty. Doubt is more true than any truth. Truths often are of the moment. Truths are based on cultures and perspectives and other things that change. Feelings effect what we think is true. Feelings change. Our age, how old we are, effects what we think is true. That changes, too. Faith is gained. Faith is lost. Doubts, too, change, but conceptually - all hail DOUBT! And as we act let us acknowledge our doubts and acknowledge that things change and realize that being tentative is being most real and honest and true.
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
On my own for a while.....
So... I am on my own for a couple of days. Karen is away. I plan to rent a few movies, have dinner with Bill Bowsky, do some nothing, go to Oakland for the Union and then also see Sarah and help a little with her move.
BUSY at work. No time to take off a whole day! Shheeesh! People sick, people gone, people away. Tough time! Getting me tired and down and more tired. And today I have been awake since 4:30am (I took Karen to the airport for an early flight). SOOO.... just hanging in here.
Got some work done today... including setting up a new list for my library colleagues (read - union/represented colleagues). Aha!
BUT - Meditate! Meditate! Meditate! - and bring G-d in so I can link myself to the ALL. Yes! I must not be/feel/say I am so tired, etc. I must be strong. I AM STRONG. Yes!
ANGER - anger is quite consuming and sad to behold. It is terrible that people get and stay angry. It is too bad, a shame, that people don't do more to help people move away from their anger. Oh well.... IT IS HARD TO HELP PEOPLE. Especially angry people. And most people are not into "hard". So... easy does it. Wait. Be patient. Time will tell. Time will heal. REALLY? Maybe. Maybe more can be done earlier... but... whatever.
BUSY at work. No time to take off a whole day! Shheeesh! People sick, people gone, people away. Tough time! Getting me tired and down and more tired. And today I have been awake since 4:30am (I took Karen to the airport for an early flight). SOOO.... just hanging in here.
Got some work done today... including setting up a new list for my library colleagues (read - union/represented colleagues). Aha!
BUT - Meditate! Meditate! Meditate! - and bring G-d in so I can link myself to the ALL. Yes! I must not be/feel/say I am so tired, etc. I must be strong. I AM STRONG. Yes!
ANGER - anger is quite consuming and sad to behold. It is terrible that people get and stay angry. It is too bad, a shame, that people don't do more to help people move away from their anger. Oh well.... IT IS HARD TO HELP PEOPLE. Especially angry people. And most people are not into "hard". So... easy does it. Wait. Be patient. Time will tell. Time will heal. REALLY? Maybe. Maybe more can be done earlier... but... whatever.
Monday, May 16, 2005
The MOVIE POST
This post sort of begin with the following which came from Monday, May 16, 2005's post:
And - I need to rent a video for Wednesday night and maybe for Tuesday night, too. Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events would be one; another would be: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. So - a Jim Carey mini-festival. And then how about: Donnie Darko; and the Kill Bill movies; and Dogville plus the other several movies by the director: Lars von Trier - such as: his Gold Heart Trilogy (Breaking the Waves, The idiots and Dancer in the Dark.
SO... that is a lot for now.. More listed in another post!!!
THIS IS THE OTHER POST. Here are some other movies (all from IMDB.com:
One flew over the cuckoos nest
Cidade de Deus (2002)
Grand Central
Apocalypse Now (1979
To kill a mockingbird
The Third Man
Fight Club (I own this... yicky to start... but I should finish sometime)
The good, the bad, the ugly.
Jim Jarmusch movies such as: Coffee and Cigarettes,
and Jim Jarmusch movies such as: Eating; National Lampoon Goes to the Movies (1983);
More to come....
And - I need to rent a video for Wednesday night and maybe for Tuesday night, too. Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events would be one; another would be: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. So - a Jim Carey mini-festival. And then how about: Donnie Darko; and the Kill Bill movies; and Dogville plus the other several movies by the director: Lars von Trier - such as: his Gold Heart Trilogy (Breaking the Waves, The idiots and Dancer in the Dark.
SO... that is a lot for now.. More listed in another post!!!
THIS IS THE OTHER POST. Here are some other movies (all from IMDB.com:
One flew over the cuckoos nest
Cidade de Deus (2002)
Grand Central
Apocalypse Now (1979
To kill a mockingbird
The Third Man
Fight Club (I own this... yicky to start... but I should finish sometime)
The good, the bad, the ugly.
Jim Jarmusch movies such as: Coffee and Cigarettes,
and Jim Jarmusch movies such as: Eating; National Lampoon Goes to the Movies (1983);
More to come....
Monday, Monday...
So... here I am again... a couple of days later and just over the weekend. Friday night, all day Saturday, Sunday... there were some rough moments!!! Last Thursday night at Bruce and Susan's we had a time to remember - if only I could. And so.... fear was in the air on Friday. Karen had gotten very afraid on Thursday since there seemed to be a near medical emergency. But... who knows? In any event the weekend was colored a lot by what happened Thursday and relaxation was on my mind but processing was on Karen's mind. Rightfully so but still - I would have liked to have waited. But NOOOOOO..... SO - whatever! - I can understand that Karen was upset but I also feel defensive and am thinking defensively, too. I actually think that Bruce went a bit overboard. But do I know? Can I know? NO - I CANNOT REALLY, EVER KNOW. And that is that. I believe there was a lot of over-reacting going on... and so... moving on is all I can do. Sorry, but true.
And so... here I am - Monday. I am a bit tired. I have been working out ok for the past week. On target to do something at least every other day. And I can use a day off!
Karen is away for a few days beginning tomorrow. I take her to the airport very early in the morning. I could - maybe will - workout tomorrow morning early. As I did today, in fact. Thus - keeping going!!
Food intake is NOT going well. I am eating too much. Sneaking things like some ice cream and at the office - chocolate covered coffee beans. I do need to stop such. I do need to lose 10-20 pounds in the next month or so. That would be VERY GOOD! I have put on my "Weekly to do" document to EAT BETTER!!! It may be time for signs, again.
Plans are going very slowly relative to Ashland. The July dates are not too good for seats as per the web. August is not a go because of stuff the kids need to do. Hmmmm... maybe Septemter?
AND - I need to make some telephone calls. To my Uncle Jerry, and to my Cousin Arthur, and to Cousin Sheera, et al, and to Susan Rosenthal, and to Gail. THAT's alot!! I need to schedule and dial!
And - I need to rent a video for Wednesday night and maybe for Tuesday night, too. Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events would be one; another would be: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. So - a Jim Carey mini-festival. And then how about: Donnie Darko; and the Kill Bill movies; and Dogville plus the other several movies by the director: Lars von Trier - such as: his Gold Heart Trilogy (Breaking the Waves, The idiots and Dancer in the Dark.
SO... that is a lot for now.. More listed in another post!!!
And so... here I am - Monday. I am a bit tired. I have been working out ok for the past week. On target to do something at least every other day. And I can use a day off!
Karen is away for a few days beginning tomorrow. I take her to the airport very early in the morning. I could - maybe will - workout tomorrow morning early. As I did today, in fact. Thus - keeping going!!
Food intake is NOT going well. I am eating too much. Sneaking things like some ice cream and at the office - chocolate covered coffee beans. I do need to stop such. I do need to lose 10-20 pounds in the next month or so. That would be VERY GOOD! I have put on my "Weekly to do" document to EAT BETTER!!! It may be time for signs, again.
Plans are going very slowly relative to Ashland. The July dates are not too good for seats as per the web. August is not a go because of stuff the kids need to do. Hmmmm... maybe Septemter?
AND - I need to make some telephone calls. To my Uncle Jerry, and to my Cousin Arthur, and to Cousin Sheera, et al, and to Susan Rosenthal, and to Gail. THAT's alot!! I need to schedule and dial!
And - I need to rent a video for Wednesday night and maybe for Tuesday night, too. Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events would be one; another would be: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. So - a Jim Carey mini-festival. And then how about: Donnie Darko; and the Kill Bill movies; and Dogville plus the other several movies by the director: Lars von Trier - such as: his Gold Heart Trilogy (Breaking the Waves, The idiots and Dancer in the Dark.
SO... that is a lot for now.. More listed in another post!!!
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
AND NOW - - - - > Up and at'm again
It has been such a long time since I wrote here. Even though it may have been less than a month - the last post was a bit perfunctory, I would say. And this one.... hmmmm....
The last post was about Passover and preparations for Passover. Prep was a bit minimal, Karen was terrific getting soo much together and keeping it real (no corn stuff in stuff, no breads or other grains, etc, etc!!), the Seder went well with good discussions and with moving along through most highlights. Our little group seemed to be happy. I still would like to have it a bit different/better/something.... So - wait till next year, as the Dodgers used to say.
Mothers Day came and went. I can't help but think about that and about my Mom. BUT - I don't obsess too much anymore. Essentially - Mom is very special. And we shall leave it at that.
Busy, busy, busy!!! And so - STRESSED! But - finally dealing with most things and getting into some good healthy routines. There have been some health issues and also a lack of exercise and meditating. I did do both the past two days. Today may be an off day. Tomorrow will then HAVE TO BE ON!!!! My body feels pretty good but there is some stiffness and aching. My head is helped by the meditation. AHHH!!!
Karen is doing good. We are doing good. Our stressing is being moved through. My daughters are doing fine. I think and hope. Sarah is going to take time off this summer before she and Amy head to New York. She will be coming home for about 7 weeks... and I hope things go well with and for her. Amy has not talked about her plans for the same period time and I think she will work longer and remain in San Francisco during the summer.
And me and vacation? And with Karen? Well - we are probably going to Monterrey in August and in July I hope to go with Karen and my daughters to Ashland. Sarah and Amy and I used to go to Ashland a lot. Almost every year for a while. We had some good times! This is like one of our real things. In fact... I will get on to this again, now, today, since we have to choose some dates and Amy will need to get some time off from work. I should be able to get off fairly easily and Sarah will not be working and Karen will hopefully not have a problem. BUT -- plans need to be made!
And other plans being made are changes to the house! We are looking to enlarge the master bedroom, have a new master bathroom, have a laundry room inside, and then also enlarge the kitchen. I have a computer planning program I got free once upon a time from Cyberrebates. I am using it to good effect, I think. An addition of about 250 square feet or more for the master bedroom suite is being drawn up and for the kitchen we have hardly gotten started but we may move into the living room space or move the kitchen over into the dining area space. OR... AHH!!! NEW - change the door of the garage, remove much of the lawn (make it a bit like Susan Palmer's) and then move into some garage space, as well as move into the dining area. In some other words.. if we take out the laundry area than open into the garage on that wall! AND THEN - where to put a hot tub? and doors to the outside (off the dining area onto that side of the house), etc....
BUT --- lets keep the stress down! We WILL get to these things. We are thinking and planning and moving along. We are still working in the garage to unpack and re-arrange. Stuff is and will happen! And the money will come from????
The last post was about Passover and preparations for Passover. Prep was a bit minimal, Karen was terrific getting soo much together and keeping it real (no corn stuff in stuff, no breads or other grains, etc, etc!!), the Seder went well with good discussions and with moving along through most highlights. Our little group seemed to be happy. I still would like to have it a bit different/better/something.... So - wait till next year, as the Dodgers used to say.
Mothers Day came and went. I can't help but think about that and about my Mom. BUT - I don't obsess too much anymore. Essentially - Mom is very special. And we shall leave it at that.
Busy, busy, busy!!! And so - STRESSED! But - finally dealing with most things and getting into some good healthy routines. There have been some health issues and also a lack of exercise and meditating. I did do both the past two days. Today may be an off day. Tomorrow will then HAVE TO BE ON!!!! My body feels pretty good but there is some stiffness and aching. My head is helped by the meditation. AHHH!!!
Karen is doing good. We are doing good. Our stressing is being moved through. My daughters are doing fine. I think and hope. Sarah is going to take time off this summer before she and Amy head to New York. She will be coming home for about 7 weeks... and I hope things go well with and for her. Amy has not talked about her plans for the same period time and I think she will work longer and remain in San Francisco during the summer.
And me and vacation? And with Karen? Well - we are probably going to Monterrey in August and in July I hope to go with Karen and my daughters to Ashland. Sarah and Amy and I used to go to Ashland a lot. Almost every year for a while. We had some good times! This is like one of our real things. In fact... I will get on to this again, now, today, since we have to choose some dates and Amy will need to get some time off from work. I should be able to get off fairly easily and Sarah will not be working and Karen will hopefully not have a problem. BUT -- plans need to be made!
And other plans being made are changes to the house! We are looking to enlarge the master bedroom, have a new master bathroom, have a laundry room inside, and then also enlarge the kitchen. I have a computer planning program I got free once upon a time from Cyberrebates. I am using it to good effect, I think. An addition of about 250 square feet or more for the master bedroom suite is being drawn up and for the kitchen we have hardly gotten started but we may move into the living room space or move the kitchen over into the dining area space. OR... AHH!!! NEW - change the door of the garage, remove much of the lawn (make it a bit like Susan Palmer's) and then move into some garage space, as well as move into the dining area. In some other words.. if we take out the laundry area than open into the garage on that wall! AND THEN - where to put a hot tub? and doors to the outside (off the dining area onto that side of the house), etc....
BUT --- lets keep the stress down! We WILL get to these things. We are thinking and planning and moving along. We are still working in the garage to unpack and re-arrange. Stuff is and will happen! And the money will come from????
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