knowledge and sharing - - AND PURPOSE!!!!

Knowledge is something you share so as to build. Facts, information, etc... Feelings and thoughts are a form of knowledge, too. If one knows ones feelings and thoughts. But who really knows what they feel? Who knows the depths of their thoughts? Even as seemingly solid facts change so do fleeting emotions and flighty thoughts. Or - it is possible to be stubborn and inflexible and unchanging always. NEVER be moved. NEVER be unsure. NEVER be wrong. ALWAYS KNOW.

OR - knowledge is something you share so as to tear down.

OR - knowledge is something you have and keep which builds you up.

OR - knowledge is something you have and keep which tears down.

OR - ???

Why are there so many possibilities? Well - there are what there are. The point really is what you do with stuff. With information. With knowledge. All "things" can build or tear down. Create or destroy. Live or die. Or stuff in between.

Black or white or gray.

What guides actions and emotions and thoughts are our values and our values are essentially our purposes. If our purpose is to harm than our values are related to evil. If our purpose is to heal than our values are related to good. An essential act is to study and we study so we can act with purposes we have considered and thought about and contextualized and made to be a purpose.

"On purpose" is how I think people act. Or I have accused people of doing stuff "on purpose" and usually felt that what I did was "on purpose" ... or at least I was well aware of what I was doing!

I was judgemental is this thinking. I judged that it was right and true that people should and in fact do act with purpose. AND YET ... I MYSELF AM OFTEN PURPOSELESS in general!!!!

I have said and it is true that my career was not well planned. My life was not well planned. I did and pursued living as it came to me. I pursued a career as it presented itself. I have met people and established relationships as they presented themselves. I have met good people. I have had good jobs. I have not taken many risks. I have not made many plans. I have, at best, been in whatever moments I am in. I have cared. I have forgotten to care. I have been careless and I have been full of care. I could judge myself as having landed where I am "on purpose" AND judge that I have not been really well aware of what it is all about.

What a life!? Is this a life? WHAT IS MY PURPOSE? MY PURPOSE??!!! WHAT IS MY PURPOSE? WHAT ARE MY GOALS..... NOW AND WHAT WERE THEY IN THE PAST? DID THEY GET ACHIEVED? WHAT WILL I DO IN THE FUTURE?

I have committments. I have happiness. I have joys and sorrows and regrets and memories and amnesia and sadness and luck and knowledge and wisdom and foolishness and pain and aches and love and loves and hates and ...........

I am free. I am not free. I am here in the moment with memories and maybe aspirations!

I AM.

I used to say that... I AM. Just as G-d says... "I am that I am"... or something like that... I, too, say - I AM.