IF I were to argue...but NO I won't

If I were to continue to argue... I would say:

Look how they arrive with assumptions
Look how they are defensive even before anything is done...
Look at their armor which is always on...
All you have to do... is look at them NOW. There is nothing which has to be brought in from the past to know how they are closed and hard.
Now they have no love
They need something to breech their fortress and I don't have what it takes.
Actually, sadly, there is probably nothing that will change them.

Ah... DESPAIR?!?? -- Yes - but just for a moment, thank you!

It is like dealing with an implacable enemy now and that is how it always has been. Respect has never been a mutual thing expressed. Fear has always been the guiding force. What do they have to fear? What do they have to lose? What do they have to gain?

ANSWERS - nothing is to be feared ... but maybe there is something to lose. What is to be lost is their sense of having been always right. IF they approach... then they have to realize that they could have done this long ago and they could have done much to make things better for others. As for "gain" - they would gain a new family but would also gain regrets over what could have been. VERY SORRY AND SAD OUTCOME..... I guess, returning to fear - there is a lot to fear from the emotional disturbances that are possible.

I can not place that suffering on them. Who can? Well... I know that once I gave up on my sister... and while I never really did, I guess I really did. To set things on a calendar... I gave up on her when she was about 30 or 35 and that was about 20 years ago. I didn't fully give up since about 12 years ago I urged her to come out for a visit during her summer vacation. IF she had come out then I had a specific person, a Jewish dentist, to introduce her to. But, she didn't come out and he married someone else. That may have been for the best as they are now, 10 years after wedding, getting a divorce and it is hard to say what happened (I would say they both have serious strangenesses). But.... IF it was a job I was supposed to do - as I was told, then I did have it in mind from time to time. Another time was at my Jewish wedding in New Jersey before I left there for California. I very nice man, Michael, wanted to drive my sister home and he was something of a good catch (a mensch but a social worker... and so not as wealthy as some might want). He is happily married today, I think. Oh well....

BUT... I am ever so defensive in these writings. I will not make these arguments. I will just leave it all be...