Being a bully is possible especially if you are big and loud and can appear angry and have some willingness to be physical. The physical threat is possible because of size and sounds and also stories which are essentially threatening.
I remember hearing a story about how a father got so angry with his son he chased him, caught him, and beat him until other men had to tear him away .... before he might have killed his own child. Scary, maybe true, and certainly threatening.
I am in my late 60's now and I have learned to not be a bully. I never meant to be a bully and yet sometimes I am sure I was viewed as such. I am glad to have learned now rather then waiting til I was older and perhaps not able to be a bully.... though then there is always words which can be harmful.... and sometimes words can be as nasty as a strap/belt...
In the end --- sticks and stones may break bones ... but words - even words absurdly mean ... cannot harm me. OR WILL not harm me.
Words and sticks and stones, etc... do harm relationships and sometimes destroy them for all time.
Can recognizing the wrong done, expressing remorse, apologizing, making amends, and promising/actually never again doing that which was harmful... make things better? Maybe and maybe not. Some times amends cannot be made.... the harm meant was psychological... and spiritual... and the psych and soul are hard to heal. Can things be forgotten? Maybe, maybe not. Can there be forgiveness... of the other? of yourself... YES...
Forgiveness is very important for all parties and the best forgiveness is that which is given after being requested... with request composed of recognition, remorse, apology, restitution, and an end of the bad behavior... While it is possible to forgive oneself ... I don't think it is as good as a mutual coming together of aggrieved parties.. either for themselves or for others in their wider community. BUT - people in the 20th and now the 21st century have sets of personal problems with apologizing and forgiving. TOO BAD!
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