it is now almost 10pm on the 7th... I have a new person querying me via email ... having been found somehow on a dating site. Another person and I have DISCONNECTED... apparently I said some things she didn't like such as lets meet on zoom (she didn't like looking up people's nostrils) and the idea that happiness and contentment were different disturbed her big time AND she was rather nasty in her replies... No worries. I have now decided that such random-type inquiries will be asked to zoom or forget about it...I think that is safe and efficient for me. Zoom is more private than skype which this "new" person - Kathy, has suggested. In any case --- I think I am fending off scams early and well. I hope so. Another "lovely" - Julie - was texting as if a local and then said she was in Singapore for work and her profile noted she had no one to ask for help from .. and so I can/would expect her to need some monetary help at some point to get home, etc...Her response to my telling her I would be traveling myself and not available til long after her planned homecoming ... was: "Loo'l" -- whatever that might mean.
Today was a big rehearsal the day before the concert of my University Chorus... where we will be at the Mondavi Center doing Spirituals. Should be good!
THEN -- next week is more open than usual - no Tues and Thur rehearsals ... actually none until April 2nd at the earliest. I am looking forward to some traveling and some extra time, too. I have noted my weeks are full and fragmented and this poses some issues relative to doing certain things. However - what those certain things is not clear. I am at a point, I think, of inventing or re-inventing myself ... if I can, should, want to... INTO what?
I have been pretty diligent about playing the piano each day this year. Writing would be the next thing to really be diligent and productive. I have two recent letters to the editor in the Enterprise. A book like "Notes to Myself" is a possibility.
I have dinner, Friday night dinner, w/Neal... and he asked me - why all of the sudden have I re-connected with him. Essentially, and I should say THIS to him, to correct errors I made to distance myself to someone for no really major reasons. I am correcting things I can. I am being forgiving... to others and maybe to myelf...
Ah - to forgive myself ... being acting foolishly. Or have I? THE QUESTION is - where am I and am I where I should be, need to be, etc.. The ANSWER -- of course YES. And then - since I am here now... and that is where I should be, must be, simply am... then where do I want to go... and why... and how... etc. etc..
THE BASIC QUESTION -- what is the meaning of my life? Do I consider my "legacy" and if so what would that be?
Right HERE AND NOW... I am wondering and curious and the good wine is helping, too.
I VACATION... and perhaps I will STAYCATION!!! If I Staycation then getting my house and yards fixed up for comfort and joy would be something to do....And a nice new car to take drives... to ??? - Oregon, Washington, Montana, Canada.... etc. etc... Maybe to the East Coast.... etc etc.. MAYBE I get a General Contractor to fix my place up while I travel. Then I am back to comfort and joy. Maybe I rent a travel van.... instead of getting a new car. Camp and hotels and etc etc...
I guess I am thinking -- BIG CHANGE.. now... while I can!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment