Why so long???

I have wondered and wonder again... why do I take so long "getting it". By "getting it" I mean understanding some basic things and accepting and doing what makes sense... NOW. 

Lots of people grow up and become adults after some kind of childhood and they live their lives with consistency and success based on their past and their education and the models of behaviors and ways of analyzing and making decisions. Their lives appear successful and they appear happy, content, and FINE.

As for me -- well - I didn't get a lot of things for a long time. I can list some of those things but TODAY.... May 9, 2020 ... I write after what I call The Event. 

"The Event" was the explosion in my body of Pulmonary Embolisms beginning with Deep Vein Thrombosis in my left calf. The Event could have been the end of me. It could have exploded while I was driving or just sleeping in bed and I might have died and even killed others in an accident.

However -- I WAS LUCKY... Everyone tells me I was lucky. Some talk about a guardian angel. I say -- THANK YOU... Thank you all who helped by finding me, caring for me, and doctoring me in the ER and hospital and now at home. THANK YOU!!!!

So - I now have a second chance in life. This was A WAKE UP CALL and I am doing what I can to honor this new lease on life. 

This writing and other writings (in draft and in my mind) will be done as they are thoughts I hope worth sharing.

I am eating better. I am getting help from my partner Deanne who knows foods and knows me and is very, very supportive and loving. 

I am getting back into walking and other exercise. 

AND I going to get through the thoughts about WHY it took me so long to be and get better. I have been overweight. I have eaten quantities of food I didn't have to eat. I like all kinds of foods and plan to eat all kinds of foods - in moderation. With portions controlled by my brain and not my stomach or difficult emotions or whatever. I will control myself!

I will always wonder -- why has it taken so long. I hope it is not too late to get it all better. I hope for the best. 

I also hope to get other things in my life right/better ... sooner rather then later while knowing ALL IN ITS OWN/PROPER TIME. can come any sooner then its own time. Time is of the essence and NOW is JUST FINE.

No regrets. Lots of wonder. And the instruction to others -- do it/whatever NOW.... Waiting is ok and waiting is under your control. DO IT NOW.

So - I don't know why it takes ME so long. Does anyone know what time comes and goes and is used or abused by themselves? Self-awareness is cool... and using that awareness to motivate actions is most cool... by which I mean -- most important and effective and personal and a matter of ok-self-control.

Don't waste time. Don't let others waste your time. TIME, TIME, TIME... and NOW IS WHAT IS AND WHAT WILL BE AND ITS OK ABOUT THE PAST ... AND THE PRESENT IS HERE.