I feel and hope - TODAY will be the day i restart my writing on a regular, maybe daily, basis! I was doing that, almost, before The Event. I am not mostly better, maybe even better! and I miss writing even though it essentially entails SITTING.
"The Event" was my pulmonary embolism which caused me to pass out and taken to the emergency room by ambulance where I was transferred to the ICU for a couple of days, then to a regular room, then after getting tested for COVID-19 to their ward to COVID-19 patients in case I had The Virus, and then discharged and to my shelter in place place - and where I was having breathing trouble for about a week until something changed I began a little walking then more walking and now I walk everyday for over three miles (even on a short walk day) and finally took a day off working on Saturday, Shabbat, which is how I like to do things... workout 5-6 days a week and not on Shabbat.
SO - a return to normalcy with some health/medical caveats.. I still have health issues. Those health issues are diabetes, a heart flutter, obesity, and possibilities of kidney stones recurring. For the diabetes and obesity I am taking sugar-meds and testing my sugar daily and I am really watching my eating, measuring my portions and I am losing weight. For the heart flutter I am considering and probably will do a heart ablation which I understand is a burning of something in the heart and a resetting of the heart beat to stop the flutter and this is the gold-standard permanent solution (as opposed to simply using 'paddles" to reset the heart beat). I also have tests, mostly various scans, to check inside for progress. I am now on Eliquis for life and I continue to take my other prescribed medications for diabetes and for blood pressure, too.
I am a very lucky fortunate person. First, I have good medical insurance. Second, The Event essentially took place in my doctor's office. Third I have was found passed out. Fourth I have a great and caring doctor. Fifth I have a wonderful and caring and loving partner. Sixth, and this one is not really number six but is really higher up and radically basic to me - I have two wonderful daughters who care and support me and do what they can for me. Also I have many friends who care and have been checking in and I feel generally supported and loved. Our time includes being lead from Washington, D. C. by a President who doesn't know what is means to be a unifying, compassionate, honest, and service-oriented President in a democratic and diverse nation. Further afield from my home in Davis, CA there is terrorism and political upheavals in so many parts of the world including anti-semitism and anti-Israel forces blaming Jews for things we did not do. There is also similar blame being layed on Chinese. There is "fake-news", poor reporting, people who are anti-science, etc. I don't even know what more to list or what the names are of the general demise of centrist consensus on an array of issues we really all can agree on. Too many people really be able to share a set of values and certain single issues should not be made priorities to shake apart a worthy CENTER.
And so - there is me and there is the world around me and dare I also say there is the world beyond this world and that include the Moon, Mars, Space as well as the spiritual realms. There is A LOT to know, study, experience, live. The attitude I and you and all of us bring to each moment, day, time of our lives is most important as we are in each new moment. Crying is something. Smiling is something. Being sad or being happy are feelings we can have some ability to choose. YES it is sad to be hungry and oppressed and hurting for ourselves and others for the deprivations we experience and others experience. And YES it is possible to not care and be glib. It is also possible, I think and hope, to do what can be done where we are to help ourselves and others and at the end of such a day find enough energy to be happy for what good we have done.
I personally have been on the sidelines and can attribute this position to COVID-19, my being a member of an at-risk population, and The Event I experienced, too. HOWEVER -- tomorrow I will do some work at the local Food Bank I hope that goes in such a way I can continue to do something there going forward. Food is so basic. Will I give blood, too... Yes as they will take something even as I am on blood thinners.
Times change. I have changed. What I call The Event seems like a major WAKE-UP call for me and I feel awake and energized to be better, healthier, more.
Onto Tomorrow.
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