Tired, tired, tired.... and unhappy and dieting, too.

I am trying to diet again... OR - watch what I'm eating and how much. Containing the caloric intake with the phone/computer app is happening now for a little over a week. Today is 2/8/22 and the first entry was: 1/31/22. Each day has been pretty well done and honest and this morning my weight at home was 216 which is ok.

I'm sitting here writing as I think -- eating is EASY... And when I'm tired as I seem to be a lot .. eating is very easy and energizing and something to do.

Something to do .. something satisfying. And EASY....!!! And available. Especially as I am home a lot! ah... pandemic-bound.

When I am tired and feel sad, depressed, at least NOT happy. I could lie down and take a nap... In fact I will do that for a few minutes after writing this and then... maybe go work out! Or at least take a walk. Or first some soup w/meatballs and then the walk. 

It is a really nice day.. Sunny and getting warm and it is just beautiful. 

And I am unhappy .. relative to daughters and other women. Suisan R. for one.  Sucks! And Deanne is away and when she is present she is tired and stuff. Ahhhhh......

I'm somewhat bored. I do have a fairly good book i'm reading. Two, actually. An old HGWells - the basis for the movie - The man who could work miracles... And a Kim Stanley Robinson Book -- Icehenge. Two good reads. One on Kindle (good) and onr on Cloud Library (ok system). And there is Wordbubble and the mini-corssword and Soduko and sometimes Wooduko. 

PROJECTS...??? Get ready to have indoors painted? Plan some trip to somewhere. Garden - including roundup and tree pruning.  And maybe cutting/trimming in front.

There are things to do... worth doing and doable. 

There is CBH and CBS ... and zoom classes and projects. 

Time enough. Money enough, too. JUST ... somethings not quite right. And what is least right is -- me and my feelings or lack of feelings or something. Something like - no one to hear me. No one who listens to me ... People all around being so much more important .. .who have so much more important stuff to say. People who don't have time for me... and about whom I care less and less. As I seem to be cared about less and less. OR so it seems. Bad attitude, mine! 

SUCKS.... It sucks being me. It sucks being alone. It sucks being sober. Or so it seems... BUT now -- a nap, then lunch, then a workout...

But who cares?