We atone, apologize, etc... on Yom Kippur. We also remember. And I wonder --- when the day of Yom Kippur is over... or when other days when we remember, review, apologize, atone... as best we can... what do we say and do on The Next Day(S)....???
I suffer from hurts done to me... and clearly others suffer, too, from their pasts. In some case two or more people suffer over the same thing. The deeds done and the reciprocation OR the deeds done and some apology with repair... That suffering continues more, I imagine, in the person who was harmed. In future does the suffering, harmed person get to bring IT up again? I would suggest - NOT.... Maybe I suggest not as I think of harms I did and have tried to stop and correct ... and I do not want to be reminded of how I was bad, wrong, etc. etc... Is that reasonable? Is that fair? Is that wise? I think so... if we remember the past wrongs might we not remember how and why to do them again? Maybe ... When we atone we mean to not do again what we did ... and if as we more into the future we are positive and supported in being positive isn't that better than bringing in negatives? Again - I, myself, think that ... as it so often seems I have been wrong, harmful, etc... And even if not intentional and even if intentional ... what is the best path forward? THEY (whoever they are) say that addicts and criminals who return to the environment where they are surrounded by people and memories and maybe more deeds that are addictive or ciminal will do again those bad things... but if when clean and innocent and they go to a new place where the old ways are not happening then they successfully live good lives.... Is that not a model for interpersonal relationships? ONE way is to not relate to people who have been bad and another way --- if/when the bad person has reformed... to not remind them of their misdeeds --- wouldn't that be a way to carry on a relationship that was marred once upon a past time?
I HOPE SO... I HOPE FOR A GOOD FUTURE... A GOOD PRESENT... As for remembering the past -- that may need to be done from time to time --- but in a special and safe place... wherever that might be.
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