a late night thought

So.... one realization I had today (not the one I forgot which is still forgotten) is that I am or have been ready ? and willing to help my parents and/or sister - i.e. my family with things. Big things.. maybe little things... BUT they don't think so because they have not gotten things/attention/etc from me which they demand such as - attendending to them whenever there may have been a potential conflict with someone else.... the first such thing was - where to spend a Mother's Day after I was married. With my mother or maybe my wife's. Such demands were/are tests, I am thinking. They are supposed to indicate loyalty. They felt to me to be arbitrary and unnecessary demands made to just be selfish and so.... I freed myself of that... and that is good.

Darn... forgot another profound thing

Well - earlier today I had a somewhat profound thought, I recall, but I don't recall what it was! So... I have lost it and I guess others lose such things, too. I should have recorded it... on my cell phone or something. I have such tools and I thought that this time I wouldn't forget. But I did. There is just soo/too much going on... cluttering and distracting and such.... Oh darn!

Anyway - I have not yet done anything in regards to my sister coming to the wedding. I will compose an email (or two) and communicate with her that way. Basically - the idea of putting ones money where one's mouth is could be applied to her, too. She is not poor or wanting. She has not paid real rent, I'm sure, for ever. She makes good money and she doesn't want to come out for any of a variety of other reasons... none of which bode well for our future (her's and mine). Oh well.

Nothing Is.

Last night Karen and I say - I "heart" huckabees. It was funny and an easy look. There was a lot of apparent profundities. Maybe it was profound. It WAS fun. And the actors were good and seemed to be having fun, too. Next on our watch list: The Motorcycle diaries. We have heard good things about it.

And tomorrow night we go to a costume party. With big butts! And then trick-or-treaters arrive and we need to get some good candies. Will probably do later today.

A massage later today is on my agenda. Terrific!!!!

Good shabbos.

a new day - another way?

So... today I have more information and new thoughts about my sister and the wedding. I began to lean away from paying for her trip since that really did not seem to be the real issue. She asserts problems getting the time off and traveling so intensely for so short a period of time. Reasonable, actually. Not completely without stuff to object to... but you know - this family is how this family is. Some people care only about themselves. And communicating thoughts, issues, cares... don't get done well. Everyone protects what they see as their turf as if such protection will give them a good hold on some kind of reality. But - who can hold onto what? Really! Grasping is just soo hard on everyone. Anyway - JetBlue reports that I could maintain "ownership' over the ticket's value. And the cost is only the $310.70 and yet I don't feel like buying my sister's presence. That would feel shitty. So... I will write her a note and give her the JetBlue info and some words of positive encouragement and she can then do what she wants. As for honors at the wedding - that is not/less likely. She is just not really into it and I am just not really into her. What can I say or do? Essentially - I don't find family with "my" family. Maybe it is me and what all I did or did not do... and maybe it is what I learned within that family. I mean - THEY are into cutting people off and while they may have thought they were not really doing it and/or there was a certain selectivity - their rhetoric and their apparent actions were mean-spirited (although based of course on their having been hurt first - always - OH REALLY!)

So - I am angry. I suffer. I feel compassionate towards myself - whatever compassion means. I feel the suffering. I don't have to be suffering beyond the moments of confrontation and specific events. I don't have to obssess. Meditation and this blog helps. AHHH....

CASA work is picking up. I saw Michael, talked with Laura, found and talked with the social worker and the eligibilty person. All is ok in that area. Michael will probably begin resisting being with Laura after his mom gets out of jail (in a couple of days). That is to be expected.... but that will not be his option until his mom gets well settled and checked in by social services and the court date is Feb. 9th.... which is a long way out! I wonder what will be?

Work at HSL is going full force. I have had some feedback from my lia's and from the college. More later.

And here are pics of my daughters:
Sarah:



Amy:

Ego again

Well.... it is two days after the tif with sis. And one day after checking into some facts and solutions. I have not yet discussed this all w/Karen... Yesterday I was saying that I will just throw the money away, in my mind. Today I have a different idea which is to not exactly throw it away. I would have ms. debbie purchase the tik and when she arrives I will give her the money but if she doesn't arrive - the tiks and their costs are hers to deal with (and she can retain most of the value while it is not possible for me to get the value since I believe the tiks are not transferable).

So... that is that.

Karen and I went over the wedding list more last night. Added people rather than deleted. So... working, working, working.

It has been very nice watching baseball games w/Karen. Especially since she is so keen on the Boston Red Sox who have done wildly wonderful things in the playoffs! Tonight could be THE NIGHT! I hope so. We all hope so!!!

The election is coming right up. I have voted absentee. Now we all wait and see. I we hope. It is intelligence and flexibility and wonder vs thoughtlessness and rigidity and certainty. It is the thoughful vs believer. The academy vs the church. It is not necessarily good vs bad but it is cast in that light. Really it is the difference between looking positively towards the future vs looking backwards thinking things were better in the past. Progress vs withdrawal. In all/both cases it is looking NOT AT NOW but looking somewhere else. It is not being mindful of the moment but seeking to be elsewhere or elsewhen. This is normal but it is full of illusions. Even when we look and see the here and now we can be fooled by illusory perceptions. That is even more the case when we look away since for sure the imagination begins to work and play. And while the here and now may be perceivable that perception is still only for a moment and then the moment is gone and we are in the next moment and "this moment, this moment! is NOW.... and why should I worry, I'll be in the next moment, this moment, this moment, its now." (incredible string band song - about 1968 give or take a couple of years).

What is best, good, true, real? Who knows. And when will who know?

AH... uncertainty! Even a Bush re-election could be good. What will be will be. Que sera, sera. I am that I am. And I feel strongly that a Kerry victory can be best! WHY?

Only if Kerry wins can we have an admission of mistakes and corrections to those mistakes. Bush has shown he is not capable of admitting error and therefore will not be able to make corrections within a process which is true and open. Admitting mistakes is an essential part of the process which allows for real and lasting corrections to be made. Is it a sign of weakness to have made mistakes or is it a sign of being a human? Who has not made mistakes? Who has not admitted having made mistakes? Who has truly made corrections and changes? (this paragraph will be sent as a letter to the editor of the local papers - the Bee and the Enterprise) OR - actuall the next SECTION will go to the papers:

===========================================================
I think that admitting mistakes is an essential part of a process which allows for real and lasting corrections to be made. Is it a sign of weakness to have made mistakes or is it a sign of being a human? Who of us has not made mistakes? Who has not admitted having made mistakes? Who has truly made corrections and changes?

Bush has shown he is not capable of admitting error and therefore will not be able to make corrections within a process which is true and open. If Kerry wins can we have an admission of mistakes and corrections to those mistakes. My hopes for us all is with John Kerry as President.
=======================================================
done....

EGO, egad!

Ego - who has got the ego? Late yesterday my sister called and we had a fight. She is a real work but what can one do? Hopes and expectations, etc.... what is to care about? First - she can't possibly make it... then she can IF - I pay for her flights and make it super easy (i.e. no plane changes, direct flights, etc...). Interesting that such would work for her. Ah.... but she was tired and she has her problems and I am sure she suffers or would if she really felt what there is to feel. BUT - she called, we fought, she called again and apologized (with accusations.... let us not simply apologize... lets attack, too). What can I say here? I will talk w/Karen and we will consider and do what is best and right.

(in fact... - I just checked JetBlue AND - I can get ms. debbie into Sacramento, direct from JFK - for $310.70.... NOT bad!!!)

Hmmmm.... so maybe I will through out the money... and see. I would have to essentially think I was throwing the money away since I would be fairly sure my sister would flake at the last minute. It is what I would expect and what I have experienced and why should anything have changed? Maybe I can get insurance? I will check.

Meditated this morning.... it felt good. I am happy to have my office, my personal space back again. I was on the cushion (pillow) and I did some chants, etc... OK!!!

Obsessions

Ah... to obsess! And about what? How about people and persons. How about family? Yeah... lets obsess again about family - or NOT.

In previous posts? - did I not suggest that obsessing could be handled by the meditating technique of labeling the topic(s) - THINKING. If I did not then let me do it now. In meditation we try to SIT and not "think" about anything but we try to get into the moment which when in "sitting meditation" is a moment of stillness and breathing and that is about ALL. BUT - we have busy minds and we find our thoughts to be active and the instruction is to gently? and without judgment LABEL the thoughts "Thinking" and thusly put them away as such and return to your breathing and to the moment AND THEN when a new or the same thought appears REPEAT. And I have tried to take that teaching and practice outside of the "sitting" and to thus deal with those many things I obsess about. It has been successful! Yeah!

BUT - ??? - certain obsessing thoughts do recur and recur, etc.

OR - maybe I am just currently confronting an old problem area of my life which seems to be an obsession. That would be my hopes? and EXPECTATIONS about my family. To wit, however - I should remember the following (this is coming from my file of quotes):

Dr. Albert Ellis says: " They (the human race) believe they must do well; that other people must treat them kindly, nobly and do their bidding; and that conditions must be absolutely just so - or else they become horribly depressed. It's deadly for people to feel that they MUST have these things. These things are contrary to the facts of life. They are preferences. I'm changing people's musts into preferences."

So..... musts or even preferences are to be turned into: maybes? Things I would like? PREFERENCES!!! Not musts or shoulds... not expectations but I would really, really, really like something to happen/be. And IF it does not happen that way - depression? OR what?

A what would be to limit exposure to things that are disappointing. To people who are disappointing. OR... are people or things DISAPPOINTING? I guess there is a lot to be said for NO - outside forces are not disappointing.. HMmm..... this is a hard one! I guess that inside I get disappointed and that results in my getting or being ??? - sad? depressed? unhappy? .... all that. To say that such and such or so or so doesn't HAVE TO DO OR BE whatever??? Does that make the thing less unpleasant?

On another hand - ONE CAN ONLY CONTROL ONESELF. Controlling anyone or anything else is such a awful thing!!! In fact - controlling oneself is somewhat questionable, too!!! Being in control is wholly questionable, so questions the Buddhists. Control equals grasping. AAAAHHH.....

So... THIS blog is a meditation. And - I really must really meditate!!!! And PRACTICE the NOW and also practice and recite the chants I have found and chosen. And find some more, too.

AAAAHHHH.....

hold it in....

So.... I guess people just are people... and psych (ologists, iatrists, etc) are different. When I say... I am stressed to people they tell me how stressed they are. Only the psychs listen and give the appearence of caring. That IS their job. Others... and I am sure I do it, fend off any negative feelings they encounter. REACT! Have an equal and opposite reaction. Blow it away. ahhh.....

So... I must/will keep negative feelings and thoughts to myself. No one out there is willing and/or able to listen. The psychs are not really acceptable since they are artificial. They are an artifice of everybody trying to remain untouched. Oh well.....

Being or showing sensitivity just won't do. that is what my pop taught.... Don't be soo sensitive. Another right thing for that right guy.

I guess I can try one more time....??? Sure... and get shot down again. Why not. I MUST LIKE FALLING!!!! So free. IT IS LIKE FLYING!

Getting on....

FEAR... ah - yes being scared. It is so easy and real and possible to be afraid and fearful of ???????

If I pause a moment and contemplate where I am and who I am and all.... then I in fact have a sense of fear. There is a groundlessness which I can perceive. What some might call an abyse which I need to read about again amongst the Hasidic masters!

FEAR - and then - what about that thing: "fear and loathing"? I say that what I don't know or remember OR what makes me afraid - that I loath! OR at least don't like. I kiddingly say that... but there is a certain truth to that. But - Thompson's books might have meant something else.

FEAR - Weightlessness. Groundless. Falling. FREE. I am holding onto nothing and being held onto by nothing. All is uncertain. All is open. All is!!!

And that can be very frightening!

So... when someone (Karen) tells me she is afraid I am very concerned. And so much is stressing me... or scaring me... that her fear is scaring me, too.

IF we are both afraid... then what is to be...

And is anything STRESS or is it all FEAR?

Stuff below was written earlier...

So.... today, Thursday Oct. 21, 2004 - Karen and I are deep into it... Problems about a date and place for the wedding and OUR FINANCES. I went off on a rant - mostly to myself, and now here, about how we are not being very responsible. Kaybe another way of putting it is we are not aware of what is going on with our money and what we will be expending and where it is coming from!!!! While I have some ideas and while there really may not be any need to truly worry - I keep sensing that Karen is more ready to spend then to know where or what are the resources that are being expended. OR.. maybe I am CHEAP. Maybe so.... maybe I am not really looking forward to spending 20K on this wedding and glitches make me stop and think. The Rabbi's unavailability is/was such a glitch.

So... I am pausing. I would be happy if we got our day to day finances in order... which I think we will do this evening. I wish I had not felt the need to be somewhat heavy-handed in getting us to do that. I wish Karen had taken the initiative since it was her house-related stress which put this issue on hold and for me it is a basic essential issue (what we are doing together with our monies). But noooooo. I guess this is an example of couples have "issues" with money. yich!

Did I mention I had lunch w/Mike H. - Well I did. On Tuesday just past. Good. Some talk.... He has the Seed of Abraham project going. Spiritual roots thingy. Seems beyond the realms of possiblity, to me, that going to that level will have an impact on the day-to-day levels of reality. Just me, maybe. Or... is the question one such as: how do you fully impregnate the real world with the spiritual world? They are one and the same and yet different. They have a relationship but they are apart from each other. I guess there is something about kabbalistic emanations coming into the "real" world - and if just folks can remember and believe there is a spiritual world than we will truly be on to a good path!!! And one which will be diverse adn tolerated, I think, because the dogmas imply/suggest that there is some only/one way. How do the dogmas do that? By being complicated and secret? I don't know... but that is one guess.

Ah... Secrecy. Ahh.... SECRETS

Nineth - Wednesday - hump day?

Stuff is sucking these days. A good marriage date has been nixed. But maybe Karen and I can come up with a way on the date we liked (because the Mondavi Center was available for us then). BUT.... lets see what other dates are possible.

What is going on? Well.... on one hand I want to do things around the house and on another hand Karen wants to go away for a weekend and on the third hand I want us to be happy. But, I am afraid MY ANXIETIES are getting the best of me. I am anxious about not getting stuff done. I am worried that I am having some trouble taking care of myself. I think I need some TLC!"

SO.... what will be will be. And that is yet to be.
Que sera, sera (if that is the correct spelling!)

Or, Maybe I need a bit of time off.... Maybe I need to heavily meditate, or medicate, or vacate, etc.... I need to check into Green Gulch and/or Tassajara or Esalen..... or something!

But I ramble....

Today is a busy one again. I think I may cancel the Edianne thing and just do the Michael and the CBH Committee thing. And tomorrow? - who knows what will happen tomorrow.

Monday blues - whats the news

Geezz.... I had a weekend which was soooo... full and left me sooooo tired... I am thinking that today at work is a time to rest (just joking). But really - at least there are limits and clear expectations.

And tonight - we go to the Bob Dylan Concert at the Rec Hall (old facility) AND check out the BALLROOM in the new facility! (see notes below about the Mondavi for the wedding BUT it, too, may be too small and the Ballroom may be the right size).

But the weekend had wonderful parts to it. Sunday in the mid-afternoon I performed in my chorus and we did very well. On another hand - the day before, Saturday, was difficult since it followed a restless Friday night and was a full day of rehearsing!!!

Sunday morning was interesting but a bit stressful as I met some more of Karen's friends. These folks came by and we had brunch and then picked some olives and the time was limited since I had to get to my concert which, btw, was preceeded by my NOT finding my tie!!! STRESS!!!!

Back to Friday night.... that was when we looked at the Forest House where we slept over after a bit much to drink late at night (resulting in something of a hangover Saturday, etc). The place does not suit us. We do think that what will suit us is the Congregation plus the Mondavi Center. We talk with folks later today about Mondavi.

And... I am feeling as if I am not spending enough time at home doing things around the house. Nor am I working out - but I have that on my schedule for this week. And next Sunday morning I will work around the house. And in my home office. And on my computer. I might leave the operating system alone and see what happens when I hook up the 200gig drive, etc... And what about a new computer? And what about networking to the cable modem? SOO much to do!!!!

EXPERIMENTS:
1. a link to something? How about my professional development home at my office? GO HERE.
How does it look and work? GOOD (unless otherwise noted)

2. a link to a PICTURE

3. How about a picture right here --->



Enough today. Obviously I am not doing this everyday. Yet sometimes I catchup.

Luck Seven - A day at work....

Todays post is work-oriented as I seek the comic so to avoid the tragic. And tragic is what I think goes around when tools are kept from workers and communication is curtailed. Not that I couldn't communicate some or all of this to colleagues but I self-censor because I feel and think that it is hopeless to pursue fixing these problems. They are problems of power and not of good sense and I don't have the power.

Power is important BUT power is so often abused! As professionals we are demeaned by the limits placed on us as we work in an environment where information is the basis of our work, information is the essence of our wider workplace (the university campus), information is the rationale for the tools we use (computers), and information is the wave of our world and yet the tools which we have to work with that information are so mightily locked down.

Below is a note to myself which I may send to colleagues at work. (I work at a university library which at this time will remain nameless).

I will momentarily try to write a more generic type of note and the see where that might go, too. OR ... perhaps I will not send it to colleagues so that our office changes but will make it a journal article.... that is funny, witty, and somewhat significant? BUT - HUMOUR is the quest because pain and suffering is the alternative!

"Folks,

I wonder what it would be like to work in our Library without computers?
Why do I wonder? Please read on and then send me your ideas which relate
to the general issues presented. If nothing else - perhaps someone can
help me lighten up about all this. I really do want to laugh sometimes
because the alternative is to cry. So... give me what you got!

(I have not seen the movie... A day without mexicans... but that idea is
something of the source of this idea - although there are other
sources.... such as the weirdnesses of our various machine systems).

I sometimes feel as if I AM OR SHOULD BE working without a computer
since
computers I use pose various problems. In addition to listing "problems"
I
also might say that communications is difficult. If actual language
issues
are not actually a barrier then hanging on phones for minutes is and
finding the one person who might know the particular problem on the
particular machine or system is a difficulty.


The problems posed include:

I log into my office workspace from a ref. desk computer and then cannot
log off and I must reboot to protect my account (at least at the
MedCenter this holds true)

And... againg at the MedCenter - I cannot log on to my new network
workspace although I can log on to my old space which I am trying to not
use since it is old and may go away??? This is so even though with an IP
number supplied by Systems which is said to absolutely be ASH (the new
machine) I get connected to the old machine.

Printing from ref. desk machines is either to a local printer or the
public printer - but not another printer in the building such as our
color
printer.

Loading a small piece of software or java-script is not allowed and
therefore I get stopped from showing faculty and students stuff they can
see and use on their own machines.

New web pages go up and old ones are hard to find and what works is
sometimes here and sometimes not here. Things get done with our
computers
quickly or slowly but more often then not without proper checking and
testing. "

sixth post - day nine

Tonight was the last Presidential Debate. Now we all will see and hope. And pray?

Karen's house is likely to close tomorrow. Tomorrow we look at Shot of Class as we are also looking at various brochures about wedding places. Friday night we go to Forest House, where we will be able to stay overnight and have a few drinks as we take a tour. Robbers Roost is a restaurant which Butch has recommended. And I think Karen heard of a place called? Zinfandel Grill. We shall see what we shall see.

Tired, tired, tired.....

And this weekend is the big concert weekend for me and my chorus.

Work is ok.... doing a powerpoint and going to meetings and working on realtime and looking at children's health literature, and so on.... Busy!!!

And so I am not doing this everyday. Not a big deal...

Realized that these blogs are like individual, personal newsgroups/bulletin boards of the past. Easy to get going, it is, and yet a proliferation of STUFF and therefore in a big way - just a lot more noise on the lines. And so... where is the real good stuff? It isn't necessarily mine! I know that. Ah well.

Fifth Post - Day seven - ahh... weekends!

So... this is my fifth post.... having skipped/missed writing on the weekend. Today is Monday, Oct. 11th, 2004. A beautiful day in this neighborhood of Davis. California. Sunny blue skies, wind is down, temperature moderate. Lovely.

This weekend was one where as it began we had a house guest from Mexico City. Interesting and nice. She left in the early afternoon on Saturday and for the first time in maybe a month? - Karen and I had time alone! We essentially spent that time cuddling in love. More loveliness!!! And when Sunday morning arrived we had some time together before our house guest returned and she and Karen went off to Berkeley for a bit of theater. I remained in Davis as I had a couple of things of my own for the day. I attended my friend Kristen's mazusah hanging party. I went to my monthly meeting with Jane and the spiritual guidance group.

ALL IS. G-D IS. I AM.

Listening with all of my self is a very effective path to becoming mindful of the present. A question is to what do I listen? To others? To ideas? To my heart? To chants? To ?????

Day Four - a Friday - some rantings today!

Tonight is Shabbat. A nice dinner, something to drink, maybe go to services? - a friend of Karen arrives (Rebecca). Ah.....

Soon, this afternoon, a massage. Aaaahhhh....!!!!

This all follows work and a weekly staff meeting where controversy arose. The issue is the availability of reference librarians at various hours. Specifically at hours which are on the periphery of our desk scheduled times and during which the appearance of patrons w/questions is from a low of infrequent to lower still, rare. How to provide some coverage is the question and innovative answers which use modern and not so modern technologies could be part of an answer. BUT the traditional answer of having a librarian in the building for face-to-face assistance seems to be the only answer being considered even though telephone and/or web(realtime) assistance might do. This experiment is not going to be allowed as of this morning's meeting while working from the circ desk and closing the ref. desk as an experiment IS being allowed. Go figure! At some point maybe there will be a real and new look taken of all the issues which to my mind means looking at what we do and how and also the costs of doing our work. Economics IS important and a business model is NOT what makes sense in our profession. Yesterday the medical profession was discussed with the authors of a new book by Donald Barlett and James Steele's titled "Critical Condition: How Health Care in America Became Big Business, and Bad Medicine". In the interview they note that some (much) of the cost controls used in "business" will not work in medicine. Go figure!!!

I thnk - bottom line --- people/workers must be responsible in whatever ways make sense in the jobs they do! In general RESPONSIBILITY is the needed and necessary key. By being responsible I mean being present and MINDFUL of what is going on. No matter what the science is of a thing - ART is necesssary and in art is mindfulness. Being "artistic" is being mindful in a wide, holistic, comprehensive manner. ARTFULL = MINDFULL..... don't you think?

And so... back to the art of my life. While I am a bit tired... and feel pretty good (both a verb and as a noun). Love is all around! Especially around Karen. Ah... dearest Karen. We went out to a movie last night (oy... a nice movie .... but last night I was tired and the movie was quiet and slow - it was: "The story of the weeping camel" ). Then, at home I watched the first half of "About Schmitd" and I hope to see the rest sometime. Pretty interesting.... a life-crisis movie... Schmitd retires and then his wife dies and he is very cheap and not too independent... BUT --- he seems on the verge of changes. I look forward to seeing what happens. It could happen here!!!!

I forgot to mention that I went to Yiskor services yesterday morning (end of Succoth) and while I mainly went to help ensure there was a minyan I also specifically memorialized: David, and Stu, and Louise.

LIFE, LIFE, LIFE.... LIVE - LIVE - LIVE!!!!

And how to live? That is always the question. What to do? Why do whatever? Where, when, etc... HOW!!!! HOW!!! HOW!!!

Now is the time of a continuing revolution in how things are at home. Where will we, Karen and I, live and when might we move or decide to stay. Why do what will be done? What pictures to put up and where? What should we do to the garden? Vegies? Flowers? BOTH OF COURSE! Pets - now two cats. What about a dog? Why do I think about a dog ever? And my office!!! Kitty litter! Cat food. SMELLY!!!

But - oh the weekend doth arrive. I have nothing on the calendar for tomorrow although we will have a house guest. And little on for Sunday until 4pm. SLEEP IN!!! I need some rest!!! I also need to begin working out regularly again!!! REALLY.

WORKOUTWORKOUTWORKOUTWORKOUTWORKOUTWORKOUT

And lose weight which has come back!!!!

That is all for today. I will get relaxed very soon..... and I will meditate after the massage. At least 21 minutes!!! Maybe a full 40.

Day Three - Individualism

So - yesterday... ideas about places and socializing and the public domain/public commons were noted. Today I went to a lunchtime discussion group where membership in the Jewish people was the topic of discussion and non-membership was the angle from which that was looked at. In other words - what constitutes heresy and such.

Circumcision or its lack was noted a primary sign. It was also noted that such a sign was private and usually not seen. At least in todays world!!!! In Biblical times when the Greeks were ascendant there was much nudity. Furthermore, in the Middle East, the climate was such that nudity or near-nudity might have been somewhat normal. Or not.... The point is... that there was significant nudity at the time and now there is not. Why????? Hmmmm.....

The point I want to pursue... relative is relative to the privacy issue and contrasting privacy with the public display of group membership. There is power in numbers, right? There is comfort in knowing you are part of the group... or more specifically the right group. It is better to be in than out, right? etc.... etc...

Ones thinking is private. There is the secret ballot in our democracy.

There are mobs and mob behavours.

There is the common good.

There is one's private hell.

There is Spock and personal sacrifice for the group/crew/etc...

Day two...

Ah... so I have remembered to make a second post. Nothing much to say... Except I am suffering from a cold or something. Itchy eyes, sore throat, some congestion, and maybe some fever. It is now 3:30pm and I am feeling the worst so far today.

Of note: was sent a note about "third places" which talks about libraries as such. First places are homes, second places are workplaces, and third places are socializing settings (pubs, libraries, churches, etc.) The question is - what are the social anchors of the community today.

There is talk in the article about virtual third places. This might be interesting to try! Try at work? Try at CBH? Hmmm....

Then there is the other concept called: the Public Commons.... which seems somewhat related but which was noted and discussed in regards to knowledge sharing and the personalized manipulation of public domain material and the "creation" of something new.

And then there is/was/will be the question of the meaning of the word: CREATION and its use by so many when the word implies the bringing forth of something from ?nothing? - i.e. a G-d capability.

First Time

Today I start.... and today is: Oct. 5, 2004.

I am using the diminutive of my name and that means...??? what?
It means:

• something else didn't work
• my mom, dad, and sister will know how to refer to me
• old/prior to doday days when I was younger and a kid are brought to mind
• sounds young and hopefully friendly
• whatever

More about me and my profession someday. I am, by profession, a librarian. The library I work at can be found at: http://old.lib.ucdavis.edu/healthsci/ = and the ASKNOW service is for medical, heatlh, and veterinary information. Try it!

Libraries !!!!!